“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” - Philip K Dick

What a totally forgettable Christmastime.
I was at work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I had a terrible cold, so food tasted like cotton wool, and it was all I could do to drag my bloated cadaver from place to place.
By the time I got to my Mams on Christmas Day the rest of my family had been and gone, Billie was so visibly bored she wanted to go home after 90 minutes (who can blame her?), and that's pretty much all I've seen of her.

Joy to the world eh?

I'm also at work New Years Eve and Day, but I don't mind that as New Year has never appealed, for obvious reasons.

I still feel a little rough, both mentally an physically.
When my parents are gone, and Billie is off at University (ie next bloomin' year), apart from work, what will I do with my time? What contact will I have with humankind?
Could one man be any more bored or boring?

New Years resolution, do some bloody exercise! Please !

Pieces Of A Man from yakkowarner on 8tracks Radio.

“A sure way to lose happiness, I found, is to want it at the expense of everything else” - Bette Davis

 

“As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't” - Carrie fisher

I've been on 'holiday' this week. I've never been so bored.

I've got up at a reasonable time everyday, but by mid morning Monday I was already bored. I even offered to do overtime at work, for goodness sake!

It's been a struggle to resist getting drunk every night, there's not much else to do of a lonely evening.

I don't really like Christmas, it's just a reminder of all the normal stuff I don't have access to, or don't care about. But I've got my Christmas tree out for the first time in years (who knows why), even though no one will see it but me.
Sadly I'm working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and Billie is otherwise engaged.

Bah Humbug...

Zzz...Zzz...Zzz... from yakkowarner on 8tracks Radio.

“Instant gratification takes too long.” - Carrie Fisher

 

“Lonely men seek companionship. Lonely women sit at home and wait. They never meet.” - Abraham Lincoln

I suppose I should at least make one appearance a month, so here it is.

I had to officially put my notice in. I've never done this before in 25 years of Nursing, so it felt a little momentous (by definition).

I shouldn't really talk about work in detail, but let's simply say that there has never been a better time to leave. But this new job is so scary...

I'm still without chemical support for my state of mind, about six weeks now. I still get the occasional woozy feeling, but I feel quite well. I still have negative feelings of course, but these don't stop me in my tracks like they used too.

This week we had the ward Christmas night out (also known as my one night out of the year). I drank a lot of wine, and didn't embarrass my self, and walked home, in for 11pm (so a success I think).

At this time of year it's easy to let loneliness overwhelm you. If it were not for Fatherly duties (ie lifts) I would hardly leave the house, except to visit my increasingly elderly parents (isn't everyone who ever lived increasingly elderly?). I've even toyed with the idea of dating sites, but the actual reality of it terrifies me to honest. As Bill Hicks said,

“It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.” 

Yule be sorry... from yakkowarner on 8tracks Radio.