“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.” - Philip K Dick

What a totally forgettable Christmastime.
I was at work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I had a terrible cold, so food tasted like cotton wool, and it was all I could do to drag my bloated cadaver from place to place.
By the time I got to my Mams on Christmas Day the rest of my family had been and gone, Billie was so visibly bored she wanted to go home after 90 minutes (who can blame her?), and that's pretty much all I've seen of her.

Joy to the world eh?

I'm also at work New Years Eve and Day, but I don't mind that as New Year has never appealed, for obvious reasons.

I still feel a little rough, both mentally an physically.
When my parents are gone, and Billie is off at University (ie next bloomin' year), apart from work, what will I do with my time? What contact will I have with humankind?
Could one man be any more bored or boring?

New Years resolution, do some bloody exercise! Please !

Pieces Of A Man from yakkowarner on 8tracks Radio.

“A sure way to lose happiness, I found, is to want it at the expense of everything else” - Bette Davis

 

“As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't” - Carrie fisher

I've been on 'holiday' this week. I've never been so bored.

I've got up at a reasonable time everyday, but by mid morning Monday I was already bored. I even offered to do overtime at work, for goodness sake!

It's been a struggle to resist getting drunk every night, there's not much else to do of a lonely evening.

I don't really like Christmas, it's just a reminder of all the normal stuff I don't have access to, or don't care about. But I've got my Christmas tree out for the first time in years (who knows why), even though no one will see it but me.
Sadly I'm working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and Billie is otherwise engaged.

Bah Humbug...

Zzz...Zzz...Zzz... from yakkowarner on 8tracks Radio.

“Instant gratification takes too long.” - Carrie Fisher

 

“Lonely men seek companionship. Lonely women sit at home and wait. They never meet.” - Abraham Lincoln

I suppose I should at least make one appearance a month, so here it is.

I had to officially put my notice in. I've never done this before in 25 years of Nursing, so it felt a little momentous (by definition).

I shouldn't really talk about work in detail, but let's simply say that there has never been a better time to leave. But this new job is so scary...

I'm still without chemical support for my state of mind, about six weeks now. I still get the occasional woozy feeling, but I feel quite well. I still have negative feelings of course, but these don't stop me in my tracks like they used too.

This week we had the ward Christmas night out (also known as my one night out of the year). I drank a lot of wine, and didn't embarrass my self, and walked home, in for 11pm (so a success I think).

At this time of year it's easy to let loneliness overwhelm you. If it were not for Fatherly duties (ie lifts) I would hardly leave the house, except to visit my increasingly elderly parents (isn't everyone who ever lived increasingly elderly?). I've even toyed with the idea of dating sites, but the actual reality of it terrifies me to honest. As Bill Hicks said,

“It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.” 

Yule be sorry... from yakkowarner on 8tracks Radio.

“There is no problem so big it cannot be run away from.” - Charles M Schulz

For a while I forgot about this blog. There was a time when I'd "write" something almost daily. sadly that was a very long time ago, and I was very happy back then. Make of that what you will.

It's almost a month since we got back from holiday, and this time it took about a week before any noticeable 'holiday blues' hit me. That feelings almost completely gone, although of course I can't imagine anyone would stop missing huge portions and seemingly endless shopping.

I felt so well when I got back that I forgot for a few days to take my antidepressant, and somehow that few days became three weeks. not the recommended method, but I still feel relatively upbeat (at least by my own standards).

I had an interview two weeks ago today, for a Nurse Practitioner Job. I can't believe I didn't mention that sooner, for despite nature and common sense (plus the lack of chemical help) I got the job. I'm terrified, and a little bit excited. Thankfully I don't start until January.

Eventually there will be a bit more money, but the job in responsibility is enormous. Let's see how this pans out eh?

Little else to say, oh my leaking roof is finally fixed! It cost me £1000, but when the leak spread to my living room ceiling, I knew I couldn't procrastinate any longer, and believe me I'm a world class expert...

I Think It's Going To Rain Today from yakkowarner on 8tracks Radio.

“I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.”

“Why are there no during pictures.” - Mitch Hedberg

 It's me, remember me?
Anyone?

Nevertheless, here I am , returned from holiday, and about to return to work.
Needless to say (so why say it?) We had a lovely time on holiday. The whole Orlando thing is getting a bit tiring for someone of my age and shape. I suspect it'll be a very long time, if ever before I return. I really wanted to try something different, but Billie wanted one last visit before she starts university next year. It was just so darned expensive, but of course completely worth it. We missed out on some classic rides/destinations, but there simply isn't enough time, and it's so incredibly tiring, lots of walking, and temperatures of 30 degrees, even as late as Halloween.

There was a little diva behaviour from Billie, but far far less than last time. The biggest problems were probably the occasional wrong exit by me when driving, whose ipod to play in the car, and where to eat.

Billie is quite the shopper, lots of clothes were purchased (by her, not me).

We saw "Gravity" on a proper (not those tiny multiplex versions) five storey IMAX screen, and in wonderful 3d (it's usually too dark for me). A fabulous film and technically amazing. The auditorium must have held about 1000 people, and there were about 20 people in the audience.

I haven't hit the emotional lows that I've felt on returning from previous holidays, but this time I'm chemically assisted of course.

My roof is still leaking (that's not a metaphor by the way) so I really must get that sorted out.

Back at work tomorrow, what disasters await me there?

It's Grim Up North... from yakkowarner on 8tracks Radio.

“I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. There's a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.”