Somehow, in yesterdays post, I forgot to mention my huge argument with my Dad.
Maybe not huge by your family standards, but well, let's just say it involved my first shouting in at least 7 years (if you see what I mean), I do not , normally, have a bad temper.
It started with him offering my two year old Nephew a screwdriver (!) to play with. When I pointed out that this may not be such a good idea, he began on a rant about what a bad parent I was. His logic was that since he had had four children and I only the one, he was practically Dr. Spock (go google him). Furthermore he told me that he "couldn't stand me" (verbatim quote) and I'm a 'know it all'.
I can be insulted about pretty much anything, without it flustering me, but the suggestion I am a bad parent (not his exact words by the way) got me quite riled. So I revealed a few home truths about how his family merely tolerate him, and that I'm the only one who can be bothered to make it an issue.
Sadly he declined a reasoned debate on the subject, and simply kept repeating a couple of his stock phrases, before he went and hid, ostrich style (though not with his head in the sand, just in the kitchen). I could provide a detailed analysis of his behaviour, but I want only to describe how upset I was, not his shortcomings.
Today he could not even make eye contact with me. I was there for three hours, and he did not say a word to me (this is not unusual in itself, but I sensed an active avoidance today).
“What was silent in the father speaks in the son, and often I found in the son the unveiled secret of the father.” - Fredrich Nietzsche
3 comments:
Well, i have to say that i think you're a great dad:) In fact, one of the best! Some of us fail or feel like we're failing in other areas, but with Billie you've done a great job. You should be very proud of her, but also very proud of you too.
It is what it is with your dad, and no matter what you still love him. Sure, you can't click with everyone you share a blood line with:) I always told you you're one interesting person. Good fun but screwed up like the best of us. I really hope you post that card to Canada. Life is too short, and it's never too late to try and fix something. At least if you tried you'd know you did all you could and then move on one way or the other. I'm really glad i met you. I learnt a lot, and i'm sure Barbara is glad to have known you too. You just got to give it a shot. Until then...you'll never know. Wishing you peace joy and happiness this Christmas time.
Andrea
Wow, thanks Andrea. That's the single most useful and supportive thing anyone has said to me all year.
I believe I'm not a bad Dad, which is why I got so angry (I usually don't).
I'm glad you're still out there, you are a very interesting person too, and I'm eternally thankful I met you.
I know you'll have a great Christmas, as one of my lasting impressions of you is that you put your family first, and isn't that what Christmas is all about?
Billy
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