I sat down to watch TV last night and then comically awoke at 3am. Foolishly I'd left both heating and projector on, oh wasted wasted energy!
The previous night I'd been kept awake by a slow dripping seemingly coming from an internal wall. It sounds like a Korean horror movie plot , but I swear it was real! Next day no evidence anywhere of a leak! I may actually be crazy, but Mondays weather was atrocious, heavy heavy rain, and very strong winds.
Looks like I'll finally have to stump up for a new flat roof!
My lack of posting, is due to even less happening than usual. (just look at the above paragraphs!). Billie seems to have settled in to sixth form, and consequently I hardly see her at all, maybe once or twice a week. I don't really mind, but it's making me very lonely and increasingly isolated.
I worry so much about the future, not in a global sense, just the selfish personal level. I'm so detached from human contact, don't even know if that's a 'thing'. Bored and penniless for the next 20 years, then if I'm still around for retirement, even more bored and more penniless until death. How cheerful!
A few days later...
I had what can only be described as a falling out with Billie. She says I'm too clingy as a parent (eg I worry if I don't get to say goodnight on the phone), and that we have nothing in common. She feels like she has to 'perform' when she stays with me (which explains why she hasn't stayed over for six weeks or so).
I told her she's right, we don't have a lot in common (but isn't that supposed to be the case with parents and teenagers?) , but just spending time together in the same room makes me happy, she doesn't have to be always 'on'. I think our relationship is a bit better now, although I was extremely upset at the time. She forgot to ring me tonight (she rings me early if she's going out - I ring her is she's not) and I'm not even going to mention it to her, I thought it was the right thing to do to show concern and love for our children. (next day update - she texted me at 11pm to say sorry for forgetting)
I suppose we just rebel to some degree against our own parents, and I didn't want to become an embittered old man, who never expresses affection or pride at his offspring, and can barely acknowledge there existence (that's my Dad by the way - duh!)
Today I went to see "Looper". I can't recommend it enough. It's far from perfect, and demands a second viewing to be sure. I went in expecting a time travel crime caper, and whilst to some degree it is that , it's a much more thoughtful, stylish, and intelligent beast than I'd imagined.
It's late evening now, and I'm doubled over with what can only be described as renal pain. The fact it is bilateral only points out how little I actually take in the way of fluids (other than wine, oh witty reader), I'm obviously very dehydrated. How stupid am I? Well as evidence I offer this , until 4pm today neither food nor fluid had passed my lips, or any other body part for that matter.
Physically I feel quite quite awful (and for once with actual reason), and added to my generally miserable outlook, your author is feeling supremely sorry for himself, wish him well...
“The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life. And the body is born young and grows old. That is life's tragedy.” - Oscar Wilde
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