“They ended as all great passions do end-----by a misunderstanding...” - Honore de Balzac

Nothing has continued to happen, I just thought 9 days was a long time without comment.

How can a life be so dull eh? The medication stops me lapsing into complete despondent self pity, but I still have a memory of how awful it was/is.
I simultaneously feel lonely and afraid of friendship. I'm just a bit to lazy and misanthropic to entertain friendship or even romance. Or maybe this is just a self deluding fantasy, after all who would want me?

Amazingly I forgot to mention that I had all my hair (accidentally) cut off. It was really really long, and I went for a trim, but ended up losing nearly all of it. I've had lots and lots of people commenting kindly to me, but I miss the old shaggier me to be honest.

I was very disappointed with the new Star Trek movie. Apart from the most obvious twist ever, it just didn't feel as coherent as the first which I loved. It has many a good scene and some funny nods to the series of old, but something was missing, and some plot hole the size of the grand canyon. but who cares what I think?

For some reason last week I finally got around to my "Macmillan and Wife" DVD box sets. The glorious combination of nostalgia, San Francisco and Susan St. James is intoxicating...

Mackems and Geordies from yakkowarner on 8tracks Radio.

“Life cannot go on without much forgetting.”

“I never fall apart because I never fall together.” - Andy Warhol

A strange couple of weeks since last we met.

This week was Billies 17th Birthday, work meant I didn't get to actually see her till Thursday, long after her actual birthday. It's incredible that she's 17, really, where did the time go?
At least she's turned out a strong, unique and intrinsically good person, I could die happy with that thought.

Last week the announcement we were all dreading, namely we were to be interviewed for our own jobs, the losing two moved to another ward, unless someone volunteered.

Last weekend I tried to write a few notes as to why I was good for the ward, and should keep my current job. Needless to say I struggled.

But then completely by surprise two of my longest standing colleagues volunteered and as quickly as the notion of interviews had arisen, it was gone. Relieved but very very sad to see my two long term work friends, both of 12 years, gone (or at least going).

The ward closes completely this Autumn, so us few survivors will have to face being incorporated into something new, and as yet still nebulous. But one worry at a time, eh?

Speaking of "worry" my CBT fizzled out after four sessions. My practitioner went on holiday and left it to me to arrange the next appointment, somehow I never did and the longer I left it the more of a problem it became.
I'm useless at everything.

I genuinely did learn a few good tactics for coping with my anxiety though, and I've read around the subject since. I recently missed my medication for a couple of days, due to long shifts at work and a bad memory, and whether it was placebo or suggestion, I could feel the old gloom and anxieties beginning to resurface. I dread the day I have to stop the medication...

Thinking of you... from yakkowarner on 8tracks Radio.

“We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out” - Winston Churchill

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” - George Burns

You find me slightly drunk , and more than slightly worried.

Firstly - the good stuff. My Birthday was on Tuesday (that's not the good stuff) and after finishing work, Billie and I had a lovely meal, then went to See "Iron Man 3" (best of the bunch, and so gosh darn funny!).

Today at yet ANOTHER meeting at work, we were all told that we have to be interviewed for our own jobs, and next week to boot!
Let the fretting commence...