Today is the last day of a fortnight off (no we didn't go to Florida - more on that later I imagine).
Consequently I have that awful "last day of holiday" gut-churning feeling.
What makes this much more remarkable is that Billie leaves for University later this week - so that churning is much much worse than usual. (empty nest ahoy!)
I know logically that her move is inevitable and normal, but it doesn't stop me dreading her departure.
Sadly I've several long shifts this week so I'll see very little of her.
On the plus side, we've spent a lot of time together this past two weeks (which you might say only amplifies the impending separation misery seekers).
We didn't get to Florida, partly due to a lack of money, but mostly due to fatigue and selflessness on Billies Part.
She'd just had two holidays, one with friends to Ibiza, then almost immediately Spain with her family. Consequently a third trip might have been devalued somewhat, and with her impending departure it would've left a lot of organising to do in just a few days.
More importantly she said she didn't want me getting into debt for a holiday. Honestly I didn't mind.
My advice to her has always been to buy memories and not things, I simply wanted a bit of that memory making action for myself!
We did go to Glasgow earlier this week, whilst it is still part of the UK (was I right, man of the future?)
We had a good time. I was flummoxed by the incredibly busy road system there (10 lanes!) and the one way system stymied a couple of my intended visitations. Apart from food, neither of us bought anything! We had a couple of lovely meals and some good chat, so I was more than happy.
It appears I developed a new anxiety, namely overtaking on the motorway. But is designed for urban use, so hopefully it was the vehicle rather than the driver at fault (it wasn't).
Work has changed a lot whilst I've been off, new staff and ways of working await me.
Money, as I've mentioned remains tight. The job may have been a promotion, but the lack of weekends mean I'm actually slightly worse off, at least until I get a couple of increments under my belt.
I expect loneliness will be an increasing problem over the next few months, and as the nights draw in, I imagine my mood will follow.
Maybe I suffer from SAD or maybe I'm just an old misery guts
“I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.” - Janeane Garofalo
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