"At the end of my salary I always have a lot of month left"

My fingers struggle to type, must fight unconsciousness...

Nothing else happened... Sorry.

I am so dull!

(although I did open a bottle of Jim Beam black label I've been saving for who knows what - delicious, thanks Barbara...
...for everything)

Lost - infuriatingly fantastic !

"Grey hair does not mean you lose colourful thoughts" - Loesje

"Everyone can walk on water if it is cold enough."- Loesje

"If I had my way
I would move to another lifetime
I'd quit my job
Ride the train through
the misty night time"

I wasn't going to post, but these lyrics resonated, and I found this lovely picture the other day.

Maybe I'll pop back later (it's Wednesday morning) with some misanthropic insights.
That's an incentive right?

"The longer you wait for the future, the shorter it will be" - Loesje

"Wine is bottled poetry." - Robert Louis Stevenson

"Its a shame, its a shame, its a perfect shame."



Well hello!
For once I'm not totally despondent or maudlin , although I am well on the way to finishing a bottle of wine.
A very busy set of work days over, and three lovely (but I suspect ultimately empty and miserable) days off await. I'm feeling strangely honest so I have to admit that I can't stop thinking about Barbara , but I must admit, to quote The Beatles, that 'This bird has flown'. I have to move on.
Alas, every time I hear even a mention of Canada, but especially Vancouver, my heart sinks. Consequently this makes watching my favourite TV shows something of a bitter sweet experience (all the best shows are made in 'Hollywood North', even House had its pilot shot there.).

But that's enough of that , you've seen into my soul tonight, albeit for a split second, and I don't want to slightly dazzle you with it's sub wattage semi brilliance. I'm off for a late bath and a troubled nights sleep, probably with some strange dreams involving Canada (they usually do) So it's your semi drunken pal checking out - be seeing you !

(This weeks House was great, Lost is superbly back on form. and as entertaining and baffling as ever , and I am loving the early 60's vibe of 'Mad Men')

“The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gently, and rouses him up to dance and brings forth words which were better unspoken” - Homer

"I'm sorry to say so but, sadly it's true that bang-ups and hang-ups can happen to you"

blah...blah...blah...
Apparently it's been the coldest winter in years. There was a little snow today, and the threat of much much more tonight. The wind is certainly icy cold. Everything is gray, gray, gray.

I really have to stop feeling sorry for myself, lord knows no one else will.

I checked the holiday list at work, and I'll have to wait until at least the middle of May until I get some time off. By then I'll have done a month of nights, so I expect I will have had several "I hate nights" posts. I was surprised to see that apart from the three weeks I had off last year for Barbara's visit , I seemingly took the rest off in single days and even hours! what an idiot!

"Zffff...what was that, sir? That was your life. Can I get another one? No, sorry." - Basil Fawlty

“It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart.”

One thing before I go to bed. I just popped over to Barbara's last.fm page, as I often do. It broke my heart (again) to see one of those special pictures appearing there. It's a beautiful picture. I won't go on, I think you all know how I feel.

“The best part of beauty is that which no picture can express.” - Francis Bacon Sr.

“I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about.”

"It's such a sad old feeling,
the fields are soft and green,
it's memories that I'm stealing,
but you're innocent when you dream"

Can you sense a slight lack of interest? That about sums up the way I feel, I suppose, disinterest, indifference. How long this will last? I don't really care (that wasn't a joke) , it's a punishment of sorts, and it's up to my own psyche to decide the length of the sentence (that was such a bloody flowery phrase, I'm almost tempted to delete it). If I seem a little self obsessed, well hey! it's MY blog!
My latest metaphor for daily living is a record jumping it's groove, doomed to repeat the same refrain over and over, until some 'kind soul' moves the stylus on, and my 'kind soul' has long since left the building.

In more down to Earth, and actually interesting, News, Billie has had a very bad throat infection this week, so has consequently stayed with me for four nights this week in total.
This is something of a record, but it's a sweet and sour experience, as she is very poorly after all. And once again it is highlighting my terrible parenting as I'm unable to go out and buy her stuff (I can't leave a sick 12 year old alone!) and my supply of things she likes, is all but depleted - send help soon!

There are other minor niggles, worries, and neurotic wonderings, but they can wait for another day...and there will be one , I assure you...

“One great use of words is to hide our thoughts”- Voltaire

“It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.” - Bill Hicks

Oh dear.
Firstly a terrible terrible day at work. I really am trying to help people, but some people just won't be helped, sadly that includes so called colleagues. Sadly one of my more beloved colleagues has just left to live in Canada (albeit Alberta) Good bye Christine!

After 14 or so hours at work I'm walking home, I check my phone, and I have a text ! maybe the first in weeks! It was from my Brother, but sadly not enquiring after my health or well being, but rather a loan I offered to make him after payday. I don't mind after all it was my idea, but he could have at least dressed it up a little - ho hum.

You know how it is after a long long shift, you get in the house is empty, cold and dark. All I want is something hot to eat and to go to bed.

I remain very sad...

“I'm tired of this back-slapping "Isn't humanity neat?" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay? That's all we are.”