"They say it's your birthday..."

I hate birthdays.
It's my birthday today.
It's not the getting older that bothers me, more that it's just a day like any other.
No phone calls, no drop ins, no cards or presents, nothing.
Just another reminder of what a sad and lonely old git I am.
C'est la vie...




I loved playing this game!

“Men become old, but they never become good” - Oscar Wilde

No, I didn't die, just today is the first day in a long time I felt any emotion strong enough to express, at least anywhere outside of my own head.

Today was not a good day to come back to an empty house. An empty cold and miserably lonely house. Now you know that , at least most of the time, I'm quite happy with only my own company. Now and then though you need to see a smiling face, maybe get a little hug, and someone to tell you everything will be alright. Hey that's today!

So I'm telling you.

A horrible day at work.
Relatives at one point telling me/us we were a disgrace, and then ramping up the insults from there. Fair enough if it was true, but there was only three of us on shift tonight, and well, you get the picture.

There was an incident last week too, quite a serious one. I was only peripherally involved but writing a statement always feels like writing a confession, at least to me.
I need something to look forward to, sadly I start night shift next week, that's enough to send me over the edge again, I suspect...

“I don't want to earn my living; I want to live.” - Oscar Wilde

“This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.” - Dorothy Parker

Not quite a recurring nightmare, more a recurring theme - decay. I always seem to be scraping at bits of my imaginary house, shoring bits up or waiting an imminent collapse. For some reason my ex wife often makes an appearance too. I don't think this means I want a reconciliation, not by any means, just that I probably want to go back to a time when things were stable, literally and figuratively, and where the best part of my life was in front of me, not way way back in the far far distance. Enough.

Anyway these nightmares seem to inform my emotional mood for the rest of the day. Which means combined with starting work very soon, Billy will be very grumpy this Saturday (and yesterdays post seemed quite upbeat, for a moment).





“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”

"You rang?"

Nothing has happened. It's been sunny, warmish,petrol prices are ridiculous, I had to give Billie a HUGE cheque (in amount not size) and we had a lovely meal out together last night.

I fell asleep half an hour into last nights big movie. It wasn't dull, I'm just getting old(er). I'm starting earlier tonight...

It hasn't been as warm as people think it has...

Don't you hate the type of man who steers his car with the palm of one hand, cocky sods (now if he was also wearing a blue tooth headset, well some kind of sniper would have to be contacted)

Where does all the money go?


The Mad Men Season 5 premiere wasn't something I was especially looking forward too.
I was worried I wouldn't be able to follow if for a start, it's been 18 months after all. However, it was of course, fabulous.
The story was engaging,  there was plenty of wit, but above all it all looked so fantastic!  (I'm so shallow)

It's finally 1966, and everything's groovy, apart from Petes sports coat...

Dons new apartment was perfect in every way, and Megans wardrobe an exemplar for all budding ye-ye girls.
All the characters had something to do, and a reason to do it.
Don was mostly happy (odd eh?), Pete less weaselly, Roger funny, Megan Canadian, and Joan actually had a chance to emote.


And of course that song! Zou bisou bisou indeed... (although the whole thing teetered for a moment on the meta edge of self parody)

Oh my toothache is GONE, gone I tells ya!
A repeat of the root canal and blammo! - no pain.
Sadly I have to wait four bloomin' weeks for the permanent filling to go in (Easter must be a very busy time for dentists I assume)...

“May your trouble be like the old man's teeth - few and far between”

“Am I to entertain your ballad of dissatisfaction, or has something actually happened? Because I am at work, dear.”

Hey, I was listening to this before it was cool...

"The best way to waste your life, ... is by taking notes" - Chuck Palahniuk

My "kitchen" accidentally caught fire, or at least a small part of it, due to a toaster malfunction (it melted). For a few minutes I was genuinely scared, those flames could easily have gotten out of control, honestly.
Billie was disgusted that I bought the cheapest, whitest, plasticest, toaster in the world to replace it.

Part one of repeat root canal complete - at the moment I'm pain free, sweet sweet relief.
More drilling in two weeks...


(a few hours later) I had a call from Billie for an emergency Dad lift home. I'm just returned.
Being in that part of town on a Friday night took be back to the happiest part of my teens, a time when I had good (or in fact any) friends, and somewhere to be.
Actually from Billies present abode you can see the location of my wedding reception. It's only about 200m distant, and my best man lived about 300m, just over there to the left (sorry, I forgot you're not privy to my mental image).
I was lying in the bath earlier and pondered that nowadays I don't like to linger too long in said bath. However, when I was married, I used to take absolutely ages - I only recall this because my ex-wife would often bemoan the fact.
Point? not sure, but now I pretty much have all the alone time I want or could ever need , then not so much, a connection? You be the judge...

Rambling recollection ends...

 Welcome back community...

“Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.” -  Chuck Palahniuk