"Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse" - Lily Tomlin

Well hello again, it's been quite a while, hasn't it ?

Simply put, I neither had anything to say or the desire not to say it. Frankly I'm bored with myself, and my life, but don't worry (as if you were) I'm not seeking to end it any time soon.

Nothing has happened,  except me returning to work, I suppose that counts as something?

Nothing had changed, but everything had changed. It wasn't an easy week, by any means, in all honesty it was quite a struggle for me. The work itself wasn't the problem, I was. Every second was a struggle for me, a struggle to seem normal and personable. Every fibre of me just wanted to leave, and never return. All I was living for was home time. For the life of me I can't explain why, at least not fully.

Everyone seemed genuinely pleased to see me, and to some degree me them, but I felt so detached from everything, I simply couldn't relax, as if constantly on the edge of panic. It will get better, I'm sure, but without a fundamental change in who and what I am,  I'm worried that another crisis is simply a matter of when, rather than if ?

“In the real dark night of the soul it is always three o' clock in the morning, day after day.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald