“The lazier a man is, the more he plans to do tomorrow.” - Norwegian proverb

Today is not a good day. Mentally I feel a lot like the recent weather - grey, muggy, with lots of rain, physically I feel like a deflated balloon, refilled with porridge.
Over the past few weeks, I've felt this creeping up on me, but chose to (optimistically?) ignore it. However I've had my days off back to back, which is effectively a week away from work. This means the usual distractions of routine, having to get up early, and actually interacting with human beings haven't been there. Odd to say, but although I really look forward to time off, when it arrives it acts as a lens, bringing all my lacking and hang ups into glorious focus...

Have to leave for work now...

“Experience is the best teacher, but the tuition is high.”

“It's not what they say about you, it's what they whisper” - Errol Flynn

I listen to a lot of ipod music,

In fact my new car radio was bought specifically with ipod control in mind. 

(since I'm also completely obsessed with scrobbling!)

What's the point of this ramble, you are probably wondering, and that's a very fair question. Well by way of explanation, there are a few certain songs that whenever (and indeed wherever) they pop up on shuffle, knock me for an emotional six. 

This just happened to me driving home. The song in question was "From a late night train" by The Blue Nile. Now don't get me wrong, I love it, I really do, but a more moving lament to regret there is yet to be written, sometimes it feels good to feel so bad. For all sorts of reasons that I'd be ashamed to go into, The Blue Nile almost always (read always) reminds me of Barbara (sorry to keep going on and on - no! actually I'm not sorry). Lump in throat.

In other equally jovial news, I've just upset my Brother, Frank. At least I think I did , he's almost totally inscrutable. I wish we were better friends, I really really do. In fact that was the motivation behind the insult. I suggested he was only being friendly to me for financial reasons, what a stupid stupid thing to say. Sad face.

(blimey the visuals make it even MORE miserable!)

From a late night train
Reflected in the water
When all the rainy pavement
Lead to you
It's over now
I know it's over
But I can't let go

The cigarettes, the magazines
All stacked up in the rain
There doesn't seem to be a funny side
It's over now
I know it's over
But I can't let go

From a late night train
The little towns go rolling by
And people in the station
Going home
It's over now
I know it's over
But I love you so 

(I haven't even had a drink!) 

“My problem lies with reconciling my gross habits with my net income” - Errol Flynn

 

"Recent polls reveal that some people have never been polled. Until recently" - George Carlin

It's rather sad that, at least for the near future, 'Vancouver' will be associated with the rioting following The Stanley Cup match. I have nothing but fabulous memories of the place, and people. Plus, for a sport avoider, I even (really) enjoyed the hockey match at the very stadium in question (how topical). If I were at home now I would add an appropriate photo, but I'm not, so I won't.






"A day off is always more welcome when it is unexpected "

"The sun is shining... But the ice is slippery."

Well, as I suspected , deep, deep down, nothing came of that complaint (yet!). It didn't stop it being a genuine worry for a few days however, and remember I wasn't to blame, I was just in the right place at the wrong time, if you will.

You remember that scene in the Rod Taylor version of 'The Time Machine' , the one where the days start flying by, the sun becoming just a blur in the sky? Well the past few weeks have been a little like that (not very much, to be honest, although I have spent most of that time in a quilted smoking jacket) in that somehow I've arrived here, in the present and I almost can't remember the journey. I suppose that's just a convoluted way of saying I'm bored. I really need something to break the monotony (sadly though, mostly I enjoy it), but we've been here several times before, haven't we?

There's a few things I'd really really like to get off my chest, but let's face it, this is such a public arena, that I can never really be completely open here, I can only give a flavour.
Also, it's not a real dialogue is it? more a mild catharsis (at best) or childish bleatings (at worst).
Remember about 90% of all my 'posts' arrive after a stressful shift at work (or preceding a perceived one) or following an oh so tasty alcoholic beverage.

I can't remember the point I was trying to make. 

Big sigh...

"The weed of crime bears bitter fruit. Crime does not pay! The Shadow knows," 

“To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.” - Mark Twain

Did I mention how upset and stressed I was yesterday? Did I adequately convey how bad a day (all 14 hours) I had yesterday?

Oh!  you think I did... fair enough...

"Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!" - Hoban Washburne

I'm mighty riled. You may know that I'm not usually an angry person, but for tonight at least, I am, well a little bit.
Maybe angry isn't quite the word, maybe riled is exactly what I am, frustrated and stressed. 

I can't go into details because of confidentiality, but being in the wrong place at the wrong time, has got me in a bit of trouble at work. I haven't done anything wrong, at least in the cosmic sense, but I've sort of become the symbolic head of a troublesome cohort, at least in the eyes of one particular relative. It all sounds much more exciting than it is, sadly I really can't go into more detail.

I'm a bit frazzled. Due to a freak alignment of the planets (or something) all three 'Sisters' on my ward have been off, leaving me in charge since last Friday, complete with two 13 shifts thrown into the mix. this wouldn't be a problem if I weren't lacking in at two major areas. First the ability to do it, second the desire too. That about covers it.

In more upbeat news, I bought a new phone, and you know how much I love a gadget. I must get about one call a week, and I usually miss it too, but as a gadget it's fab (it's a Dell Streak android phone, well more of a tablet really, but it really is quite unique).

I had a strange few days off. the weather was really quite lovely, but all (ie both) my social contacts were busy , so I literally had nowhere to go , and less than nothing to do if I ever didn't get there. I've been feeling a bit of the old melancholy, and negative edge creeping back into my thoughts a little more every day. I've been doing whatever I can to keep it at bay, but days like today are making those little victories, well even littler. 

I watched the whole of 'The Middleman' , all 12 episodes, last week. I love this show, but was surprised to find out only the pilot was shot in Vancouver (hey just like 'House'). So apologies for my implication last post.
Speaking of  'House', and I was, That season finale may finally have jumped the shark. No spoilers but what the hell? I've been getting a little antsy watching the last few episodes, I think it was wise to make the next season the last...

You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til you understand who's in ruttin' command here! - Jayne Cobb