"I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!"

It appears I'm still alive, empirically at least. If I can be bothered, more words later today (assuming wine is available)...

I've just  rediscovered the following post, unpublished and forgotten, dating from about two weeks ago. This was a bad bad day...



I hate myself. No that's a bit strong, I dislike myself, memo to everyone else - your were right!
I hate this blog, at least at the minute. I used to love this blog, when I was in love, it was for romantic outpourings. Now it's where I tell an indifferent world I'm mentally ill...

I've been on holiday for two weeks, it's been awful. To be honest it was marginally better than being at work but only just. Fourteen identical days, where only the vague promise of alcohol, got me through.
Tonight I'm on the edge of tears, thankfully, the right edge , but anything, a slight draft even, could push me over to the other side. I don't like me. I hope to change that opinion one day.

I've had an awful temporal headache for something like three months now. Headaches make you miserable. Headaches make you irritable. Give me some slack.
The optician says my prescription is right, yet my glasses make it worse. She's referred me to my GP.
If it's all 'in my head' , which of course it literally is (hey it's a headache), I'm crazier than I thought.
It's no coincidence I have no friends, and a family who merely tolerate me... I haven't felt this low since I was off sick last year, contemplating what we all ultimately contemplate.

I heard from work today that my recent 'incident' is to be investigated, consequently I'm temporarily off nights, something that in other circumstances, I'd be celebrating.
Maybe this will turn out alright, maybe Billy will find true love, maybe bacon will resurrect and find wings...

I'm pathetic, but in mental and physical pain. maybe that will make you feel better about your own life. See,  every cloud ...