“She gave me eyes, she gave me ears;And humble cares, and delicate fears;
A heart, the fountain of sweet tears;
And love and thought and joy.”
The theme of today is tiredness. I seem to be yo-yoing between insomnia and exhaustion. I don't think I have true insomnia, as it seems to follow no set pattern or predictability. And as for exhaustion, I'm putting that down completely to age, for like it or not, I am (aging that is), and a 13 hour shift preceded by a few early shifts is tiring for anyone, isn't it?.
Last night, after work, I had planned to stay up late, watch a film, listen and read. Predictably I soon found my self fast asleep (although obviously I had to wake up first to find myself asleep, if you see!) in front of the computer long before I'd done anything and crawled off to bed to sleep very soundly (and if I had any bad dreams, I simply don't remember).
I really have to do something to break the monotony! I have nothing to write about here, because I have nothing to write about anywhere. You could say that my swinging moods, disturbed sleep, bad dreams, and apathy, are all symptoms of depression, that may be so, but they are also symptoms of extreme boredom (no they're are not, but go on admit it, you believed me for a second or two, didn't you?).
Goodnight...
“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that ...”
3 comments:
There's this commercial here in the states for a new medication that claims there are physical symptoms of depression i.e. aches therefore this medication will not only help your depression but whatever physical pains are occurring due to your depression.
Now I'm no doctor so I am constantly provoked into thought by this ad. I don't know why. Thoughts that generally evolve in my head are: that is the most asinine thing I have ever heard, isn't that what aspirin is for, shouldn't these doctors be finding a cure for a real disease, ......sigh...my knee is aching me, my back is so sore....FUCK!
I hate that commercial. That commercial makes me depressed. I know I don't need anyone pointing out any form of mild or extreme depression in me. I'm not stupid I know what's going on inside me...and I think and agree with your idea that it's partially boredom...with modern media in all it's forms. There is no other society for us to live in. We have to live in this one. I mean have you read any modern fiction lately? Now that's depressing!!!
I once tried anti-depressants, actually it was the last time I saw a Doctor (er nearly six years ago!) , and still no follow up appointment!(thanks for checking up on me Doc. And whilst they certainly made me less depressed, I was so detached from everything, I could barely function, it wasn't completely unpleasant, but I stopped them cold turkey after a few weeks (something I know I shouldn't have done!)
I've never been on anti-depressants and I intend to never go on them. Mainly cause I enjoy the illusion that is control. If I am medicated I may be out of control of myself. MY WORST NIGHTMARE.
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