“If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company” - Jean-Paul Satre

"Lonely, I've been lonely,
And I've asked my speechless shoes just were you are"

Er... hello,
it's been a while eh?

I just haven't felt like posting anything.
Nothing ever happens to me, so maybe unconsciously I was saving up all those hilarious incidents and musings for a more interesting posting.
Sadly this theory is of course totally, predictably and hopelessly wrong (as well as being blatant lies) .
Nothing has happened.

Work was horrible last weekend (that's two weekends ago now !) , and continued to be so all week. It's been very stressful.
One night, last Tuesday I think, I sat down in the changing room after work, and found tears running down my face - what on earth? You think maybe it's my subconscious trying to tell me something? Why does the subconscious have to be, er, so subconsciousey (sic) ? eh?

Days off were so dull that they wouldn't even reflect light.

Billie continues to get more and more independent. In fact I only saw her once last week, due to various pressing teenage social engagements.
If I'd known a couple of years ago how little she would be needing me at this time in her life, well I suspect things would probably very different for me. (do I have to spell it out?)

As the weather gets colder and the days shorter, I find myself putting on the winter quilt, physically and mentally.
I may just have some trendy condition like 'Seasonal Affective Disorder' , more likely I'm just a sad old git.

The over riding emotion I'm feeling recently (and there a lots to choose from!) is loneliness. Days can go by without me speaking to another adult. My family are more isolationist than pre 19th century Japan.
I've lived here for over four years now and never had (to quote Seinfeld) a 'drop in' (despite having two living parents and 3 siblings nearby).
In fact I can count on the fingers of one hand (even If I'd somehow lost two fingers from said appendage) the amount of visits I've had in that time - their has to be something wrong with me, don't you think? (That's plenty - I'm annoying myself with these new depths of whininess, although in what maybe a subconscious, {what again?}, coincidence, I rewatched 'The Sixth Sense' tonight and totally identified with Bruce Willis' character)

In complete turnabout of mood - I did watch the rest of season one of 'True Blood' last week and enjoyed it immensely. I just love snappy dialogue and characters you can emotionally invest in.

I'll try and post again in less than two weeks, after all I don't want to deprive future generations of my sage words do I?


(PS - next morning, I've just, on a whim, shaved off the beard I've had since June. The shock of being greeted by a big pink goggly eyed potato in the mirror was, well, shocking! I'm off to start growing a beard, or lose four stone, preferably both)

“Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.” - Jean-Paul Satre