"When drink's in wit's oot."

“Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousands of miles and all the years you have lived.” - Helen Keller

Getting into bed last night I had what can only be described as an olfactory hallucination. I swore I caught a hint of "5th Avenue", which is, of course, the perfume worn by Barbara. It wasn't really there of course and was very fleeting, but the emotional effects caused by the memory of smells always amazes me. In my opinion it is the most powerful of memory jerkers, so to speak. For a moment, she was in the room.

Earlier that day I'd opened a tin of Heinz custard (exciting stuff eh?). It looked a little 'odd' so I gave it a taste only to find it was actually full of rice pudding. I ate it anyway, of course (let's just say I haven't what you would describe as a well stocked larder!).
By the way, for future reference, I prefer custard cold.

Back to work tomorrow! I don't know why it is stressing me so, I'm sure an hour after getting there, all this lovely idleness will fade away and become a warm fuzzy memory.
(oh dear - I can't remember my computer password. For some reason we get a new one generated automatically every 12 weeks. Let's hope muscle memory kicks in).

Usually I'm to be found typing this junk in the early hours, more often than not slightly under the effects of alcohol (imagine). At the moment it's not even 6pm. My plans for this evening involve a bottle of wine, a nice hot bath, and some brainless action movie. Tonight I want to be entertained rather than challenged. No movie last night, House followed by the new season of Dexter. The sign of good entertainment is not noticing the passage of time. If you look at your watch more than once during a movie, it's no good! (for instance see my opinions on 'Revenge of the Fallen', I was practically glued to the clock, in fact it may have been slightly more entertaining than the movie!). Getting back to my so called point, Dexter seemed to be over in a moment. It is a remarkable show, with a 'hero' compelled to kill, but so incredibly likable. In 'Six Feet Under' Michael C Hall was irritating, but I realise that was good acting now! The fact it is actually made in Miami, rather than Los Angeles or more frequently Vancouver, really gives the show a different sensibility, I think it's the quality of light! Plus this seasons protagonist is the marvellous John Lithgow. I'm hooked after one episode! Anyway enough of TV, an evening of time wasting, wine and probably a bit of wistful introspection awaits.

Be seeing you...

(Bryan Ferry is technically a Mackem, like me, although I'm sure he would deny it!!! oh and by the way I love this song)

"When the hert's past hope the face is past shame." - Scottish Proverb (they're still amusing me)

"A guid tale's no the worse o bein twice told"

"When you're tired and little lonely,
And your heart has nowhere to head,
Think of me, I'll be thinking somewhere,
All of those things that you said"

The only way I can think of to make my life more eventful, would be to reverse time. At the moment there are plankton who have more going on.

Only a couple of days before I go back to work, in all I will have been off for nearly three weeks! three weeks, count 'em!
I've got that last day of the summer holidays feeling, from back when I had summer holidays, i.e. childhood. That last evening, in early September, where you felt like your life would end the next day, but obviously never did!
I didn't leave the house at all today, except to pick up Billie for her post school, pre-bath period she spends with me during school days (assuming I'm not at work, of course).

It's that time of year again when all my favourite (and strangely all American/Canadian) shows start. I'm especially looking forward to the new series (season?) of Dexter, but there's also House, Mad Men, and the Mentalist. I'm toying with the idea of NOT watching Season 9 of Smallville. It really jumped the shark a couple of years back, plus it reminds me of well, you know what. (edit - from the next day - I relented, it wasn't so bad, but I recognised that famous skytrain bridge)

I started watching Band of Brothers again (only this time on Blu Ray) and again was moved to shed a wee tear. The humility and humanity of the 'real' Men gets me every time. For a show full of death and violence, its very , well, human.

I'm rambling... see you later?

ps. I watched the Transformers sequel last night too. The first one was entertaining and disposable, this one was certainly disposable and very very long. How could a movie about damn big robots beating each other up, be so incredibly dull! No sequel please!

"Him that keeks throu a keyhole micht see what will vex him".

"A day to come seems longer than a year that's gone"

"Once there was a way to get back homeward,
Once there was a way to get back home"

Blimey, it's nearly 4am again, and I , obviously, can't get to sleep.

Friday was a lovely Autumn day, at least weather wise. I took a drive to Durham. Although it's only 10 miles away I haven't been for 18 months, since I went with Barbara (I think the association is why I've stayed away, to be honest). Amusingly I parked in exactly the spot where I got a parking ticket, when I was there with Andrea, who apparently still finds this amusing. My point seems to have wandered, er, oh yes, a lovely day, walking through a city with a world heritage site, yet I still felt as glum as could be, no joy found there, I'm just a miserable sod I think, not happy unless I'm unhappy. Actually I can remember what real happiness is like and it's, very obviously, pretty good!

Holiday is all but over, but to be honest I'm a little (a lot) bored. Had a nice chat with my brother earlier, I won't go into details, but I think he's as messed up as I am.

I'm off to try and sleep again...

"Get a name as an early riser and you can lie in your bed all day" - more Scots proverbs

“Confessed faults are half-mended.”

"The moon went down stars were gone,
But the sun didn't rise with the dawn"

what a fun day I had (obviously this is sarcasm)...

However, I did just watch the season 6 opener of House, in wonderful hi-def, and okay the story was sign posted from the first scene, but it was wonderful eh? Hugh Laurie , what a guy! (No sarcasm intended at all, no really!). But (spoiler alert) will Houses new frame of mind last? If it does, will it be the same show?
(I spent the whole episode trying to recall where I'd seen that lady Doctor before - "Not Going Out"! I love that show!)

I was up until after four am this morning, it's been a while since that happened. Not insomnia this time however (although those pesky seagulls were tap dancing on my roof again ! it's flat you see) but stomach cramps and nausea. Something I ate I expect, I feel better now, at least physically. Ho hum.

"Whisky may not cure the common cold, but it fails more agreeably than most other things." - Another Scottish proverb.

“The day has eyes, the night has ears”

"There was a boy I used to be,
I guess that he was cold,
If she came to buy him now,
How cheaply he'd be sold"

Ugh - I feel dreadful tonight. I can't get to sleep, queasy tummy and , strangely, back pain.
I was supposed to go on a trip later today, to visit my sister, who has moved to Scarborough, and have a day trip to Whitby, strangely I've never been there and it's only about 50 miles from here. My point being, I don't think I'll go.

I was driving down a lane near the town centre today to park. It's a cobbled lane only wide enough for kerb parking and single file traffic. I was about two thirds down it and there were no spaces, but along comes a Woman in the opposite direction, and drives right up to my bumper. Politeness would suggest she reversed as I had gone the further distance, but she refused to budge. A stalemate of about 10 minutes later, me staring at her intently, was only broken when a car behind her pulled out. I then saw why she hadn't reversed out as she spent the next 5 minutes trying to reverse into the space. I laughed and laughed very theatrically (so she could see me) and then reversed all the way back down the lane (petty I know, but very satisfying). Now older readers may see a similarity with a Galton and Simpson comedy here, but this is what happened, I assure you.

I am going to try and sleep again, be seeing you, probably, I suppose. (To be honest I think I shall implode with boredom and loneliness, I'm not looking forward to going back to work, but some human company will be a nice change, holiday, schmoliday!

“Were it not for hope the heart would break.”
- Scottish proverb (and there will be many more!)

“What may be done at any time will be done at no time” - Scottish Proverb

A New day, and well , much the same really. I'm sitting here at home with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Even my Mam and Dad have gone away for a week, so no casual drop ins there. The weather is awful too, and it's getting really cold!
I wish I could shake of this malaise, it's getting more common. I sit down in front of the computer , put on the headphones, fire up mediamonkey and a random play list, then I'm stuck for hours.
I am becoming an Olympic standard ruminator (and I don't refer to the bovine definition).
Something has to change!

“We'll never know the worth of water till the well go dry.”

“Eyes that do not cry, do not see” - Swedish Proverb

"They say the spirit moves in mysterious ways,
Sometimes the way it moves looks plain berserk,
But two things you should be slow to criticize,
A man's choice of woman and his choice of work"

Me?Again?
I don't want to bore you with details (although anyone with half a brain and who's read more than one of my postings could probably make an insightful guess) but I suddenly feel completely deflated, miserable, and unhappy (yes even more so than usual). Why? well harking back to my facebook ponderings of yesterday, sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Draw your own conclusions, is it too early for a glass of wine?
(looks at clock - bleeding 5pm Sunday! maybe the most depressing hour of the week?).
I think I shall be scowling for the rest of the evening.

I'm not a violent person, but I'm off for some cathartic playstation punching!

“What breaks in a moment may take years to mend.” - more Swedish Wisdom