If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

"You know it seems the more we talk about it,
It only makes it worse to live without it"

This is all about things I didn't do, well at least those in the last week anyway.

First and most obviously I didn't go to Las Vegas - well duh!

More meaningfully however, I chose (by inaction) not to pursue a potential relationship with a very nice lady I met online . Not only was she real and geographically local (joke), but she seemed to actually like me too (or at least the version of myself the Internet portrays).
Why the kibosh you are probably asking, probably. I know I am. I'm not completely sure to be honest.
Lets free associate ; It surely can't be any residual feelings for Barbara? that is long buried (although I still think of her very often, and couldn't even watch the Olympics for a single second). I'm certainly lonely, and I know that I can be quite good company, at least at first. Maybe deep down I'm just lazy (I know I am lazy in pretty much all other areas of life), and while not exactly comfortable with my routine, maybe more scared of what it could become. All indications were she was/is intelligent and funny, but she seemed to be an actual adult, not a child masquerading as one. I don't mean that being an adult is a bad thing, it's just I'm not very good at being one, honestly. I'm not a violent or angry person, but I really don't think anyone would want to be around me for very long at the moment. I'm just so insufferably miserable. Of course there's always the possibility that this is a symptom and not the disease, but we'll probably never know eh? (that was a very messy paragraph both in argument and grammar, sorry).
The best aspect of 'things' is that they inevitably change. Sadly this is also the worst thing about them too.

My Brother in Law, who is one of the most easy going and genial men I've ever know, had an heart attack last week. He'll need bypass surgery too. He's a pretty active fella too. Really I'm so much more the typical heart attack victim. I hope I can stay lucky!

On a more pleasant note, Billie suddenly told me last week that she is doing three g.c.s.e.s this week. I can only imagine she didn't say anything earlier because she didn't want a fuss. I hope with all my heart she passes, there is no way in the world that I could have sat and passed real exams when I was 13, good luck darling daughter.
(she's also had a little story published in a collection, in a real bona fide , but strangely expensive book, I do hope it's not a scam!)

"You should stay away from your potential, you know. It's a lot like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think" - Dylan Moran