“Tact consists in knowing how far to go too far” - Jean Cocteau

I'm this far (picture a very very small distance) from being completely bonkers. Living on my own I blame. Studies seem to confirm it :

 http://jech.bmj.com/content/60/6/468.abstract

 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/1969/12/31/living-alone-death-risk_n_1106229.html

http://www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2458/7/335

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/04/health/research/04risks.html

http://www.newscentre.bham.ac.uk/press/2005/11/marriage_health_press_release_08_11_05.shtml

...and they were just the first few I came across on google!

Proof of my opening statement? Well if my gradual detachment from society weren't enough for you, how about this?
I've become increasingly obsessed that my upstairs (not a metaphor, I mean of my house) is going to collapse. Especially with the recent strong winds we've being having here in the delightful North East.
I know it's ridiculous, (and thank goodness for that, or it would be full blown psychosis) but every creak, groan or noise heralds an imminent disaster to my fruit cake mind. That's all I'm going to say on the matter, as more detail would make me sound even more ridiculous, even typing this is making me aware of how silly I sound, so it's probably a good thing eh? a catharsis?

I've just had 3 days off and apart from my Mams house, I haven't been anywhere, not even shopping? (what?). By the way. if you're interested,  I'm still loving my new car. It's quite the gas guzzler compared to the old Panda, but it's just so swanky, oddball and well equipped , I love it. My self destructive subconscious is no doubt looking for ways to sabotage this pleasure, even as we speak...


(you know, this post started out tongue in cheek, well a bit, but those links up there are making me quite worried about myself! not the content of them as such, more the fact I felt the need to include them!!!)

“You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy.” - Charles Manson

 

 

 

 

"Misery. Sadness. Loss of Faith. No reason to Live... This is perfect for you. "

When Billie's away (Mothers 50th birthday expedition) it becomes super apparent just how little I have going on. It's somewhere far far below something and a teensy teensy bit above nothing, actually that's a lie, it's nothing.

It would be so easy for me to develop a drinking problem, and as I already have an eating problem, that seems the obvious place to go. I look forward to the slight change in outlook alcohol produces, and it's only being at work that stops me drinking every night.  I'm not making light of real alcohol problems, but I can so easily imagine how one would start.

Internal grumpy sod status, has once again started to spill over into the 'real' world. I've been managing to keep it in check for a goodly while now, but for anyone that cares to look (apparently no one) the evidence is there if you choose to see it (ditto). I must just finish by mentioning the most ridiculous nightmares from last night. the content is unimportant and far from interesting to anybody that isn't me, no the only (marginally) interesting part is I remember walking up from a nightmare, actually in the dream. that's right I'm having 'Inception' style nightmares now - we need to go deeper!

must watch this again - soon...

Oh no, not this again - blah, blah, blah...

Talk about turnabout, well if you like. I'm feeling pretty despondent at the moment, fancy that eh? I spent most of Christmas day alone, looking into a bottle. Billie's going away on Tuesday for a week, and I've got a full week at work starting tomorrow. Plus the most depressing day of the year, and the only time I get to bed before midnight, namely New Year, is approaching. Lonely and depressed, welcome back old friends, sadly only metaphorical ones...

Time for bed

Bored, 6.15pm

a post from my phone... a bit pointless really as I'm sitting in front of my computer!

I'd forgotten Wham bars were raspberry flavoured...
(that caption could also be referring to 'Breaking Bad')

"Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."

I really was intending to have some Christmas decorations this year.
Obviously I didn't.
Billie isn't even visiting me, so what's the point? (I am seeing her for a couple of hours later though). Despite the initial gloom of this post, I feel so much better than last Christmas, and much much better than the one before.
Now as you can imagine,I'm not a Christmassy person, not at all. However I'd like wish a Happy Christmas to anybody and everybody out there, but especially to the two friends I made, and lost, via the blessing/curse that is the Internet, namely Andrea and Barbara. Whatever you're up to, I hope it's something fun and you're surrounded by the people you love.

Feliz Navidad!

(by the way, regarding the title. I'm not about to go on a shooting spree, I simply watched one of my favourite Christmas movies , namely 'Die Hard', last night)

"It's a beautiful duck. It really is. But you see..... it's.... smiling at me!"

Well I bought that car and I really really like it. A Nissan Cube Kaizen in pearl white. It gets some strange looks but that, I think, is part of the appeal. Odd, is how I would describe myself. Not in a 'I'm Crazy me!!' kind of way just different. Not in an elitist way either, I'm not better than other people, just different.
Even Billie grudgingly admits she 'quite' likes the car now.

While I'm here, Happy Belated Birthday Barbara Hultberg. I tweeted more time appropriately, but it's the first time I've stopped by this old place since then.

 Billie and I watched 'A Christmas Story' today. Coincidently this was recommended to me by Barbara many years ago, but this was the first time we'd seen it. We enjoyed it.

Apparently it's Christmas in a few days...

"He puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. Maybe Christmas, he thought... doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps... means a little bit more!" 

"Captain, can you stop her from bein' cheerful, please?"

Hey there!

Fooled you, I'm still as miserable as ever (well not quite ,ever)

See you after this bottle of wine...

I'm back, my weeks holiday is all but over. What did I do? Not much.
Although not really an achievement as such, in the past week I've watched about 55 episodes of 'Community' my how I now adore that show! I hated Alison Brie (or at least her character, Trudy) in 'Mad Men' (please come back soon , oh you are!) but she's adorable in this. The whole ensemble are fabulous, love the whole 'meta' (ugh) vibe of the show, please don't get cancelled.
Speaking of 'Mad Med' , and I was, I also enjoyed all 10 minutes of Christina Hendricks in 'Drive', (I'm a heterosexual man with a redhead fetish, what do you expect? - although she'll always be Mrs Reynolds to me, of course) what a fantastic film! (a great soundtrack too!)

Speaking of TV, 'Dexter' is hovering around Shark jumping territory. That Season finale, better have a few cats that bag pulling will be done to! I'm serious!

In actually interesting news, I'm picking up my new (to me at least) car tomorrow. The widely reviled Nissan Cube, yes I took the plunge an d spent all my savings, plus a loan, on a car that is mostly hated (especially by one 15 year old I know pretty well). I personally love them. I had to compromise and get it in pearl white though (since there are so few cars in the UK to actually buy). They were a huge huge sales flop in the UK, and apparently no more will ever be imported. I'm hoping that will give them a certain culty status in the years to come (chances are it's the last car I'll ever buy). Meanwhile in North America and Japan they are literally driving out of the showrooms, literally, how else would they leave? I could have said flying? never mind.


Back to work on Thursday, I'm not dreading it, but something doesn't feel right. I've pretty much ALWAYS got a vague sense of dread, it's just a little beefed up these past few weeks.

Hey, I know you love hearing about my haircuts - So er, I got a haircut. I haven't been to this barbers for about 20 years, but the usual place was shut. I'm actually very happy with what they did.
Should I go for a new facial hair configuration to go with it though? I've had this full beard since we got back from Florida in April.
Time for a change? A Van Dyke? the old soul patch? a moustache?
The big beard does do such a great job of hiding my face though...

"Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle."

“You can't have everything. Where would you put it?”

Why hello! I'd almost forgotten about this dusty corner of the Internet!
I'm on holiday this week, consequently I'm quite quite bored, and that leads to , well miserable stuff.
But not quite yet.

Nothing is happening, nothing has happened, nothing will happen, but hey, so what.

Oh wait, Billie is moving house this week, that's important. From next week she'll be staying with me more, as she's not entirely enamoured at the new family dynamic. Silver linings eh?

My quest for an affordable Nissan Cube continues. Billie still hates them, and everyone else too it seems, everyone but me. I'd like to get one before Christmas as it'll be like a present to myself, awww!

I've been watching a lot of TV to pass them time. Dexter, once my favourite show, is well floundering a bit , let's hope the last two episodes of this season reel me back in (they will). My new discovery is "Community" one of those whip smart, pop culture quoting sitcoms I love. Sadly it looks like it'll be cancelled soon, just as I arrive. One door opens, another closes eh?

“Anywhere is walking distance, if you've got the time.” - Steven Wright (Happy Birthday)