"Jack Bauer got Helen Keller to talk"

I'm afraid any wit I usually have, has left on a short holiday, whilst Mr. Back pain is in town.
However thanks to the wonders of painkillers and some deep heat stylee cream my Dad supplied, I bring you this evenings Magnum Opus.
I only managed an hour! at work today. I was so uncomfortable during the handover, I broke out in a cold sweat (remember that time I burst into tears during the handover? - of course you don't, I've never mentioned it before) and couldn't concentrate on what was being said. Once more I broke my own personal worst time for walking home, what is essentially a ten minute walk took at least twice that. Hey I'm not complaining though, not in the light of last weeks "Sicko" viewing, I just thought the whole escapade was mildy amusing and pathetic in equal parts. Socks and shoes remain a problem though, at least the "getting them bloody on" part.

Men (always men - the idiot of the species) who wander around supermarkets, or queue in the post office (presumably for one first class stamp) whilst wearing bluetooth headsets. Do they think they are a top gun pilot or covert agent? Do they realise they look utterly, irredeemably, and childishly stupid? Is that call from the wife (no doubt driving her 4 litre "ranchero", "samurai", "outlaw" or "Ford macho stereotype" SUV to pick up little Briony from school half a mile away) reminding him to pick up some unsmoked bacon and a pint of milk, such a matter of importance that the two seconds saved not picking up a phone, and the appearances of being a total simpleton are worth it?

Of course they think they're Jack Bauer !

“The only thing that ever consoles man for the stupid things he does is the praise he always gives himself for doing them.” - Oscar Wilde

New Garbage single out today! (although being on the Radio 2 "C" playlist means it won't be troubling the charts anytime soon)