“Words are dwarfs, deeds are giants.” - Dutch Proverb

Oh dear...
I don't want to sound pathetic, but I will anyway, but I feel terrible today, physically and especially emotionally.
I say today, but I really can't remember the last time, I woke up, threw back the bed clothes and went into the day full of joy (er, can anyone?). You see what I mean anyway.

I could go into really excruciating detail, but I already know what's going on in my head. A year ago I was madly in love, happy, and my days seemed filled with usefulness and hope. Today it's somewhat different. I seem like a mild irritation to my daughter, a family who simply tolerate me, and I wander in an out of work a couple of times a week and go through the motions (sometimes quite literally). I spend my time at work , looking forward to time off, and time of wondering what I was looking forward to. Most of my free time, is spent at home in a grey half remembered haze, where each day is pretty much identical.
It could have been so very different.
Let's not forget though that I really am the architect of my own destruction. I know what the emptiness in my life is, it hurts everyday, and is always in my thoughts.
I can't think of a way to end this post now...

“The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision.” - Helen Keller