"Once there was a way to get back homeward, Once there was a way to get back home"
Blimey, it's nearly 4am again, and I , obviously, can't get to sleep.
Friday was a lovely Autumn day, at least weather wise. I took a drive to Durham. Although it's only 10 miles away I haven't been for 18 months, since I went with Barbara (I think the association is why I've stayed away, to be honest). Amusingly I parked in exactly the spot where I got a parking ticket, when I was there with Andrea, who apparently still finds this amusing. My point seems to have wandered, er, oh yes, a lovely day, walking through a city with a world heritage site, yet I still felt as glum as could be, no joy found there, I'm just a miserable sod I think, not happy unless I'm unhappy. Actually I can remember what real happiness is like and it's, very obviously, pretty good!
Holiday is all but over, but to be honest I'm a little (a lot) bored. Had a nice chat with my brother earlier, I won't go into details, but I think he's as messed up as I am.
I'm off to try and sleep again...
"Get a name as an early riser and you can lie in your bed all day" - more Scots proverbs
2 comments:
"yet I still felt as glum as could be, no joy found there, I'm just a miserable sod I think, not happy unless I'm unhappy. Actually I can remember what real happiness is like and it's, very obviously, pretty good!"
Garbage's song Only Happy When It Rains comes to mind - I find comfort in knowing myself that I prefer being miserable. I don't why or when I will change it. I guess as long as I can still recognize what happiness is and when it may be present in my life still tells me that I am not completely lost.
I love that song, and have to agree that on some level, maybe I revel in unhappiness!
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