Today despite advice from myself (unheeded - obviously) I ventured out into the real world, and The Sales. Now I could go into full rant mode, but I will just give you a select few of my thoughts.I live in the North-East, which is traditionally mocked (but not without reason) for it's scantily clad ladies. Let me tell you this stereotype is ALIVE! bare midriffs should not be seen at the same time as your breath! From the amount of gold jewellery on show I felt like Cortez discovering El-Dorado (no not the soap opera, but the fabled city of gold - see?)- Sorry that's the wine talking (yes again!). There is not a super computer yet built that has the power to calculate a path through sales crowds, like that of the average human brain (plus my dancers reflexes!)the graceful way I cut through the crowds was a sight to see ( like most of my life the crowds always seemed to be going in the opposite direction) . Finally don't get me started on the numbers of bored husbands, praying for an early demise, while their perma tanned gucci spouses semi-asked " this will look lovely by the back door " (an actual overheard quote) - I am a little antimarriage but it surely is an outdated and redundant situation, don't ya think?
... and what did I buy , diddly squat
(is everybody in? the ceremony is about to begin!)
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