"I've driven women to lesbianism before but never to a mental institution"

I've just returned from my daughters school play (she's just gone 11 by the way). It was "Hansel and Gretel". We seem to forget that fairy tales started off as serious "adult" entertainment, in a pre-literate society, and now they are popularly regarded as kids stuff. Essentially this is a tale of child abuse, kidnapping and cannibalism (I hope that last sentence doesn't get me some dodgy site hits). The play was enjoyable, although I can't tell how much of that was due to to my daughter being in it, therefore affecting my judgement.

I am quite tall and arrived early, so sat quite near the front to get some good photo's (obligatory Dad behaviour!) . A couple sat down behind me and said, obviously loud enough for me to hear, we can't see anything here! Just one thing, short-arses (excuse me), arrive earlier! (I'm turning into George Costanza ! )

One of my all time favourite mash-ups!!! :

George: "My whole life has been a complete waste of time"
Jerry: "And there's so much more to go."