"I close my eyes and count to ten"

Anyone that knows me - and rest assured there are some gentle reader, knows that I do not swear. Now don't go thinking I'm some holier than thou prude that puts his hands over his ears at the first sign of an "F" word. No I'm about as broad minded as it's possible to be (and modest too apparently). I was never exposed to "bad" language until I was really a teenager, and I just made the conscious decision that it wasn't for me. It's a bit snobbish now I suppose, I always tell my daughter that bad language is just for the low of vocabulary, and that it takes a lot more wit to insult than simply swear . Oh dear I'm sounding really snobby now, I don't mean it that way, if people want to swear so be it, it's just not for me. saying that if anyone ever hears me swear It is SO SO much more effective as they are not used to it from me, after all familiarity breeds contempt.

You may find this amusing, but I have only said the F word twice out loud ( although you may also find it rather pathetic!) Once in 1990! - when I was the drunkest that I have ever been , and ever want to be, amazingly despite my intoxication - the event is crystal clear - sad eh? The other was just a couple of years ago , and to be delicate, I said it to a wonderful young lady, because I wanted her to know just how attractive I found her (and still do) and since she knew my aversion to swearing I hope it carried some extra meaning (I put that really badly, I may have to edit that bit later - I didn't want to imply I would use that word as a compliment but in that unique circumstance, I suppose it was). You know when I started typing this it was going to be about something totally different, but it became rather "true confessions" there for a minute didn't it?

“The foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean and low that every person of sense and character detests and despises it” - George Washington

(ps - I've got the rest of the story above and it all turns out alright for Betty - hurrah! - She ditches the man she loves because he was younger than her - those crazy sixties values eh? take as many drugs as you want , sleep with anybody, but heaven forbid your boyfriend is younger - but she sees the error of her ways! btw she also has a most excellent sculpted 60's "do" - so I'm obsessed, go sue me!)

Coming soon to this Theatre...

You know I've gone a little crazy this week, and a little maudlin too (oh you don't say!) .
Far to many quotes too - I promise some original Billy thoughts as soon as I have one.

I've just been looking up a Quentin Crisp quote that I couldn't quite recall, and boy does that fella have some good stuff to say - good and caustic, so a QC special when I can be bothered.
I was also about to start a whine about lost love, and other emo stuff, but frankly I'm bored with the sound of my own voice! so I'll stop (for now! - laughs maniacally and twirls imaginary moustache ) - -maybe another time.

I will however leave you with the quote I was looking for :

"There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse"

"There is a light that never goes out"

(I wrote this sentence last - I apologise for the following ramble - see if you can make any sense out of this nonsense)

It's a couple of hours later, I watched most of a DVD (Mighty Boosh live - how I wish I'd seen that show last year, and funny how I identify more with Howard Moon, when Vince is clearly cooler, and he is "King of the Mods" - which reminds me how rubbish is Phil Daniels in Eastenders? I only see it when Billie is here but really, how could he!! - talk about stream of consciousness this is a bloody long sentence!!)

"We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life" I used to be a big Prince fan, I could've sworn that used to be "love" but hey that's right I'm (slightly) intoxicated again! Well a bottle of red and I'm anybody's ! (sure I said that to someone recently) - You must think I have every day off and spend it all drinking and watching TV - well the life of a Nurse is strange (and I like strange) - shifts suit me, I could never do a "9 to 5" (Dolly or Sheena or Lady Sovereign - you decide!!) - plus my ex-wife is on holiday this week, which means I get to see very little of my daughter!
(Jeezy Creezy this is rambling, what was my point?) I think I was going to talk about love! that would explain the Prince thing anyway. However I think I've talked about love once too often, I've been in love (in honesty I still am - kind of) and I've had my heart broken. But if there's one topic that doesn't need any more discussion it's love - so I'll drag out some trusty quotes, and let others do my talking! you already had my favourite love quotes on Valentines Day, but here's a few more:

(My Favourite Beatles song is "I will" which contains this wonderful but sad line: )

“Who knows how long I've loved you, you know I love you still. Will I wait a lonely lifetime? If you want me to I will.”

but enough of unrequited love (please):

The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost. - GK Chesterton

We are shaped and fashioned by what we love. Goethe (with you on this one German poetry paintery Dude!)

Who so loves believes the impossible. - Elizabeth Barret Browning

Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better. William Shakespeare (always reliable for a good 'un)

It is an extra dividend when you like the girl you've fallen in love with. - Clark Gable

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. - Tennyson (ah the classic - thanks Alf!)

"Enough, no more, ‘Tis not so sweet now as it was before..."
(yes thats a quote but it's also an instruction to me to stop -please!)

A few months ago I sort of invented a game - The Morrisey Oracle! I use my ipod to pick a random Smiths or Morrisey song, and the title gives me my fortune - tonight it picked the song of the title , "there is a light that never goes out" Such a beautiful chorus (especially the double decker bus) but does the title refer to optimism, or unrequited love?

and now goodnight!

"To sleep, perchance to dream"

(I love Hamlet! - that nutty Dane ! and my final quote tonight - honest)

“Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did”

My My, that last post was a bit silly wasn't it! apart from all the stuff that wasn't. I have not left the house today, and since I have developed no new opinions overnight, I haven't anything to say. Right I'm off to look at myspace or maybe watch a DVD.... mmmm what'll it be?

“Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.” - Aristophanes -who apparently invented comedy, this one had me sides splitting!!

a

I'm not sure about this new layout, but blogger only lets you post little pictures and this one has to be big!!

a

You know I love quotes don't you? Better people than I have already said "stuff" much more lucidly and wittily (although there has been the odd gem from these lips). Todays title is by George Carlin, who along with Ross Noble, Eddie Izzard, and Steven Wright is one of my favourite stand ups, so I couldn't resist a few more of his:

“One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like”

“If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten”

“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.”

“"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?”

“The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.”

“Atheism is a non-prophet organization”

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”

“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor”

a

a

Is there anybody there? - knock once for no!

“Smiles form the channels of a future tear.”

Confession time - I have consumed a lot of red wine so tonight's entry could go two ways : miserable and maudlin , or sarcastic and bitter!

Hang on though! I am not a bitter person, I am just tempered by events. I am essentially a romantic, I have loved and been loved (apparently), and I still hope, just a little, that I may find love (or it's approximation) again. On contemplation though, the good part of me, the part that was attentive, caring, empathic, and loving, has suffered a little injury lately, and since I've had nothing and no-one to test it on it may not be working properly ( ooh-er madam, this isn't some sexual metaphor, I'm talking about emotions here! - I'll regret this later I'm sure!)

I'm reminded of the classic ABC lyric :

"And though my friends just might ask me
They say "Martin maybe one day you'll find true love"
I say "Maybe, there must be a solution
To the one thing, the one thing, we can't find"

(obviously I'm not called Martin - eediot!)

“If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.” - Robert Graves (blimey - I'm quotation crazy tonight!)

I'm a good person really, It's just difficult for a hermit to get out these days!
“Solitude is a wonderful thing - so long as you can talk about it with someone afterwards”

... and now to more mundane matters...

Life on Mars - it continues to be the second best show on television at the moment, it is existentialism for the masses, Gene Hunt is a sublime creation, it's the sort of show that in 30 years time (ironically) you will think you imagined, and when you find someone who remembers it you will love them forever (oh no - he's off again) - (anorak alert - the wallpaper in the drug dealers flat is available online from Germany - I should know, I bought some a couple of years ago!)

I have also just watched "Cry Baby" for the first time in years, I'd forgotten how damn good it was, and if you'll excuse me a lad moment, did a woman ever look sexier than Traci Lords in this movie? (of course they did - I'm half drunk and I've only just watched it)

Finally - I watched "United 93" yesterday, it's been sitting on my shelf for months waiting to be watched, what a regret! This film was superbly directed, it was so naturalistic that I soon forgot it was a "film" and the whole movie seemed to be over very quickly ( always a good sign in my experience). Whilst not strictly entertainment, it was engrossing, and I found myself bursting into tears when the Trade Centers were hit, again when the "lets roll" line appeared (google it!) and at the inevitable denouement - it seems I'm only human after all ! - thank goodness. The hijackers came across as misguided idiots, and the military as bumbling fools - the passengers and aircrew as heroes, which they truly were, and as for the whole Sept 11th conspiracy theory, another time, another place maybe!

“If I should meet thee After long years, How should I greet thee? - With silence and tears” - Lord Byron

Free binder with issue two!

I was looking for a quote about marriage, and found so many good un's (but too flippant to actually use) I thought I'd post them here. You probably know my rather bitter views on marriage don't you, but I genuinely think it's days are numbered, not in the next few years but in a couple of centuries (if there's any damn civilisation left, a legal contract, that enables an easy division of the CD collection at a later date, will probably exist only as a Wikipedia article) it'll be gone man, gone!

“Marriage is like the army. Everybody complains, but you'd be surprised at how many re-enlist.”
“Any woman who still thinks marriage is a fifty-fifty proposition is only proving that she doesn't understand either men or percentages” Rose F Kennedy
“Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred”
“Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy”
“Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one”
“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.”- Oscar Wilde
“Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?” - Groucho Marx
“Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.” - Abraham Lincoln
“Some women pick men to marry--and others pick them to pieces.” - Mae West
“There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men” French Proverb
“There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage”
“Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man” - Joseph Joubert
“I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.” - Lord Byron
“If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry.” Anton Chekhov


and finally one "slushy" one to balance the argument - “You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person who you cannot live without.” (aaaaaawww!) - Bitter? me? - actually that is a lovely quote isn't it?

Here endeth the lesson!

(except - I always thought Elsa Lanchester looked fantastic in this film, and incredibly like Rose McGowan - compare and contrast)

“Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.”

Just a very brief note to self

Bother - as I'm sure I've said before, normal service is resumed (yes self-pity time!). Yes folks it's 3.20am I'm wide awake and miserable! I've nothing to do tomorrow and no-one not to do it with (which is probably the root of all my problems - loneliness. Oh well if this insomnia goes on much longer , I may not have to worry about anything - only joking groovy comrades!

Here's a cracker of a cheerful quote for ya ( and no I have not been drinking!!)

“Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives.” - Bertrand Russell
(who also wrote Christmas cracker jokes I suspect!)

“An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come.”

Arriving for a late shift at work, It transpired that I would be the only qualified Nurse on duty. Our Ward Sister had had a bizarre falling off chair arm breaking episode, and another colleague had some unmentionable malady. The Shift was pretty busy, with plenty of admissions. I only mention any of this because I'd just seen "300" the night before. I chuckled to myself everytime a new admission arrived (resisting the urge to shout "Spartans" in a Scottish accent everytime!) , OK I wasn't holding off a million Persians, but it made me smile.

Incidently it was a most excellent film. I even posted my first myspace bulletin about it!

Here it is :

OK it's part rock video
OK it's homoerotic
OK it doffs it's cap to gladiator (and sin city)!
OK it's tongue is firmly in it's cheek

but for a movie full of death, death and more death! it's strangely life affirming.

In a fractured world ,it depicts a united few,
It is surely the modern succesor to the epic poem,
but ultimately it's entertainment, and at least partly a wonderful true story.

Go see it! - tell 'em I sent ya'

(oh by the way I'm talking about "300" - and Gerard Butler is Kingly but remains magnificently Scottish!!!!!)

(thats something new - the quote of the day is from me!)

“Beware the lollipop of mediocrity; lick it once and you'll suck forever.”

Gee last time I wrote a poem was in my sub Morrisey teenage angst years, when each one would someday be turned into a classic lyric, after I'd died a beautiful and tragic death! (obviously that last bit didn't happen!) and the spinning circle that is life has again stopped at angst! (chuckle)and I'm not even drunk!
here's a cheery ditty on mobile phones, a pet hate of mine (well not the phone itself but it's place in society)

Is it so important?clutched to head, megapixels go uncounted.
Ages would marvel at what we have done,yet the import is lost on low of thought.

Must we thumb at screen and reality, and let experience pass by, unoticed.


Like the man with a feast before him , yet yearning for fast food.




(ugh! - ok for 3 minutes work, but I think I prefer haiku's !!!)
(title quote from the God amongst us - Brian Wilson - the "sucking" irony is not lost on me gentle reader!)

“Everything considered, work is less boring than amusing oneself”

Poor poor old blog, I've really have been neglecting you old chum!

Contrary to an earlier post, to paraphrase, it seems that "all play and no work, makes Jack a dull boy". It transpires that my days off are so dull I've got nothing to post, at least work gives me some vicarious experiences! (that's more like it good old self loathing!!)

In other News :
After last weeks big DVD purchase (30 carry on movies!) I thought I could resist DVDs for a while but Casino Royale for a measly £7 in Asda was a no brainer. I really enjoyed this movie and the way it reset the franchise, ala Batman Begins, it could have been a bit shorter, but that was (nearly) my only criticism. Do you think David Arnold is still deliberately mimicking John Barry? It did have the worst ever James Bond Theme song however ( I obviously love "The world is not enough" but that is just the Shirley Manson effect there are better songs, and OHMSS has the best score - apart from the dreadful Christmas tree song). Less humour, less gadgetry (invisible car - come on!) no John Cleese, marvellous, but why not a new M?

Quote - “I'm looking for Commander James Bond, not an overgrown stunt man. [on meeting Sean Connery]” Ian Fleming

(Title quote is from Baudelaire)

“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'”

Oh dear I seem to be neglecting the old blog (blows virtual dust from a big virtual book). This week has reached new levels of uneventfullness (see I'm making words up now!). Worst thing is I don't even have any extremes of emotions to report, at least the boredom can sometimes be offset by being miffed with work, or annoyed at some aspect of society, today I'm just "comfortably numb".

I have been wasting* loads of time on that damn myspace! It truly is a time thief, worse part is I could not tell you what I do with the time, although I do rather enjoy finding and posting images (it's kind of like a virtual top trumps I suppose).

A rather obvious thought occurred to me that myspace profiles are a little like the male peacocks feathers ( or any other natural "show"). In as much that a colourful and prominent one (ooh er!) attracts the eye and therefore the "friend", and a plain or unaltered one is quickly passed by (mine falls between the two I suspect) . I'm not out to accrue hundreds of "friends", just find a few interesting folks to stay in touch with.

*is it wasted if you enjoy it? suppose not.

“I wasted time, and now doth Time waste me: For now hath Time made me his numb'ring clock; My thoughts are minutes” William Shakespeare - Richard II

"A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation"

"groovy" who says groovy except for me and Bruce Campbell?

"excellent" now purloined by Mr.Burns!

"miserable" mine all mine!

Only kidding, I feel OK today, I had a very pleasant day at work, saddened by the fact that it's all going to end soon. In two weeks the big shake up starts, our ward gets a new Sister, I won't work with my friend Lesley for a year (!) and I too will go (but not for six long/short months). Change is inevitable, and as Confucius actually said;

“It is only the wisest and the stupidest that cannot change.”

I'm certainly not wise , er so that can mean only one thing!

a

a

a

(ps - hope the new job's going well Claire)

Gentlemen, have I your agreement for a policy of unremitting quasi-teutonic organisational protectionism?

Crikey - in a moment of weakness I've just bought a complete carry on box set from e-bay! Who knows where the money is coming from , but at least I'll have my favourites at last - namely "screaming" "cowboy" "up the Khyber" and "cruising" (plus I'm sure the one's I've forgotten at the moment) .

"The nice thing about quotes is that they give us a nodding acquaintance with the originator which is often socially impressive." - Kenneth Williams (clever eh? a quote about quotes by Kenneth Williams)

“I'm very brave generally", he went on in a low voice: "only today I happen to have a headache."

"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes
and ships
and sealing-wax
Of cabbages
and kings"



My daughters middle name is Alice

Devils Haircut

Did I mention I had another disastrous haircut this week? I didn't? oh well I've kind of given it away now haven't I? I never seem to get what I ask for, when I left the barbers I looked like a bizarre crossing of The Faces and a Franciscan Monk ( circa 14th century!)Maybe it's because I have to take my glasses off, but mostly I suspect it's my lack of assertiveness - aye there's the rub (hamlet -sigh- again!) see how I led you astray there? a mildly amusing anecdote descends into self character assassination (what - not again?) - anyway a lack of assertiveness has cost me a lot in my life, and I suspect it'll cost me a lot more in the future. (shut up)

“You're only as good as your last haircut.”- Fran Lebowitz

(oh when I mentioned Shirley Manson yesterday I got a Google alert about my own blog - let's see if it works today? cue another gratuitous Shirley Manson photo - you see it only works if I keep mentioning Shirley Manson)

“Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness”

Listen to your own advice dammit!
Like a mogwai I think you should never post after midnight (and before 8am before those questions arise again!) or it comes out as total drivel ( ...er .. OK!). Right now - days off are over, yes nothing happened, but remember nothing bad happened either.. er ..OK- again!
You gotta keep posting man! (said in style of Dennis Hopper in Apocalypse Now!) Maybe I should change the blogs name or template - the online equivalent of a lick of paint? Or go over to the myspace blog? - maybe not.
Maybe tomorrow I'll have something concrete to say (aggregate?- JOKE).
The psychotic ramblings of a once great mind? -

“Though this be madness, yet there is method” (yes bloody Hamlet again - it's chock a block with great quotes man! - BTW title is from Seneca - the Roman philosopher don't ya' know)

(I don't need an excuse for a Shirley Manson picture, do I ? This is from a couple of weeks ago when she was given the freedom of the city of Edinburgh (although she lives in Los Angeles now!) It's hard to believe she is 40!!!)

You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination.

"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone."

"You're travelling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop, the Twilight Zone!"

"You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension - a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone. "

The Atrocity Exhibition

Oh boy! do I feel foolish ! (I do) That last post was a mistake. Listen kids - never ever post to your blog 3 minutes before you leave for work! ESPECIALLY when you've only had about 8 hours sleep in the previous three days - this is not an excuse, but it can make the tongue a little loose and foolish.

To my reader I apologise again ;
I may have lost my Joie de Vivre - but you've just found yours!

Ponderous quotes -

a

“Only he is an emancipated thinker who is not afraid to write foolish things.” - Anton Chekov

“There is a foolish corner in the brain of the wisest man.” - Aristotle

funny stuff goes here

Amusing yet groovy picture here


Don't know if you still stop by here Claire - I'm late for work so I'll keep this short. Although we don't seem to be friends anymore (fair enough) I really hope you get this Job , you deserve it and you seem to want it, Good Luck , I hope any phone calls say what you want them too! X

pithy quote here

"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it”

Where's my joie de vivre gone? I think I used to have it, I know I had it as recently as January. I've checked the back of the sofa and behind the radiators but it still eludes me.

I'm home unexpectedly early, well 3.45pm, due to a blinding migraine, My right eye is as good as useless at the moment ( notice I still managed to check my e-mails, myspace and write this load of old cack!).
I'm going to finish here then try to sleep for a while.

What happened to my resolution to be more positive ?(well I could tell you but I already know) - what's with all these questions eh?

Quote - “There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it.” - George Bernard Shaw

ps did you know kakken is the flemish verb for "shit", I don't mean to be continually scatological - honest!

(insert witty title here)

Very quick going to work on a sunday morning post


(damn left it too late more at teatime)

Sympathy for the Devil

Super Quick Going To Bed Post
Can things possibly get any worse? (Of course I could die in my sleep I suppose, or become horribly crippled in a freak standing up accident).

It's selfish human nature to think that all your woes are worse than everyone elses I suppose, but I'm taking this one all the way to 11!

Incoherent ramblings aside - work again in 7 hours, I am so tired I can hardly type after a delightful 13 (well 14 really) hour shift. Of Course when I say delightful I mean raised up from the foul belly of hell and vomited forth onto the barren earth by Beelzebub, old nick , and his demon hordes of Succubi. Which is nice.

If I survive the night - see you soon (why do I bother? eh - why?)

Quote - “The devil tempts all other men, but idle men tempt the devil” right on righteous Turkish dudes!

Dear Catastrophe Waitress

Well that's night shift over for a few weeks, however....
Yes that damn change list has appeared and yes I'm being moved to another ward for six months, they say it's temporary, but they said that the war would be over by Christmas! The most upsetting thing is how few people are moving, if I were part of a large group OK, but four people every six months! There are other worrying details but they can wait. You may think I'm being silly but my life revolves around work, and my workplace colleagues are important to me. Likewise I believe I work on the best ward in the unit, and I don't want to go and be associated with wards I am less than happy with - but C'est La Vie!

Quote - “For certain is death for the born and certain is birth for the dead; Therefore over the inevitable thou should not grieve” Bhagavad Gita (heavy man!)

"Time doth flit; oh shit"

Strange, couldn't access my blog for a few hours, and then I had to reset the password to get in! Co-incidentally I couldn't access my friend Claire's' myspace for a couple of days (I wanted to see if she got her new job you see - I'm sure if she wanted me to know I'd have heard, but I can't help but be curious !)
Time to go for Haiku #3 :

A warm summer wind .
caresses you then is gone.
it's warmth lingers on .

Anyway enough of that!
Off to work and the dread night shift
quote for today :

“A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams” (proverb)
a
(I stole that picture from "Modmom" a wonderful blog, Mod girl rag dolls - crazy!))