eight days a week...(almost)

Er... day seven of eight down. A half day tomorrow then Friday and I'm off. It's really quite exciting isn't it?

The Witch hunts are over at work (at least for the moment). To mix my metaphors, when the smoke cleared I was still standing! (by which I mean ... for now I'm staying on my own Ward). I don't know if I'm relieved, six months ago I would have punched the air, frozen, and let the credits roll... today it's not quite so clear cut. This place is damn stressful, but whatever happens I can wave goodbye to some beloved colleagues (plus a silver lining of one less than beloved colleague ...!)

I watched the final episode of Heroes (well season 1 at least) last night and it was great! Of course the show is hackneyed in places, but it has some wonderfully fresh ideas, and I especially loved the redemption of Mr. Bennett (anyone remember Mr. Bennett the caretaker in Take Hart - that's the BBC kids show not the "meet my boss - she's gorgeous" one - no ? just me then?)

“Not to mince words, Mr Epstein, we don't like your boys' sound. Groups of guitarists are on the way out.”

“The lazier a man is, the more he plans to do tomorrow.” - Norwegian proverb

I was on a study day today. I got up very late, but somehow I managed to arrive on time. There's something built into me that sends me to sleep , almost guaranteed, on a study day. Usually though I start to nod off after lunch, just for a few seconds here and there, usually waking up with an embarrassed start! Today though it started about 11am, during a talk by the local Coroner of all people. I remember he said the word Bill (in the context of a government paper) but my subconscious must have assumed he was talking straight to me, so I de-slumped sharpish like.

I recently bought some delicious banana and apple dessert from my favourite shop (Home Bargains - North of England readers will know it!). After I'd consumed quite a few I was looking at the packaging and realised I'd been scoffing organic baby food, I can be so stupid.

My Canadian Adventure is dangerously imminent, but again I somehow managed to put off packing for another day - I'm such a procrastinator!!!

“If there were no fools, how would we recognize the wise” - (another) Norwegian proverb

“Don't walk away! I'm trying to apologize you dumb noodleloaf!”

I'm off to bed as soon as this is posted.
I Just wanted to stop by and say hello! I am still here. (The counter shows that someone is stopping by now and again.)

Some random musings...

I'm off on my Holiday next week, as if you didn't know. Two weeks in Vancouver! Fantastic destination, and even more fantastic company!

Here it comes - Three days into my eight day stretch, but the two 13 hour shifts are still to come! You can do it Duffy Moon!

I am so tired! Insomnia really suited me! There just doesn't seem enough hours in the day to waste!

I have until Monday to volunteer to go to the new Ward. Some very nice people are going, and (dial a cliche alert) a change is as good as a rest (so I suppose that inversely a rest must be as good as a change?). I may ask for a temporary transfer, and that way if it doesn't work out, I can skulk back to where I am now.

I know, I know, I'm an indecisive and insignificant old fool! but hey I only write this stuff, no-one forced you to read this (but if they did please give me their number, so I can thank them)

(I know this show was an inconsequential 80's Tron lite rip-off piece of fluff that ran for only 13 episodes, but I always had a soft spot for it - I remember seeing a big box of Automan action figures for literally pennies back in London in '87 - I bet I could shift a few on e-bay now, ho-hum)

“History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction.” - Calvin and Hobbes

“What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?”

My Mam found some old photo's today. It seems that there are a few pictures of me in existence (prior to my awful Wedding photo's that is). I've uploaded them to my Flickr account . If you are desperate enough to look there's the hyperlink for you (also available in the links section).

Nothing unusual about them but there was a strange generational connection, there I am as a small boy , and then as a Father. My other siblings in the group photo, are all parents now too (or about to be). The circle of life eh? Without getting deep in any way (what me?) all our lives are so transient and ultimately insignificant, isn't it sad that some people have to remain lonely, and others dedicate their all to short tenure on the planet to the destruction and misery of others - go figure!

(that was strangely meaningful wasn't it? what's up with him??)

Back to work tomorrow for eight solid days (so it begins - see I told you so!)

Sparks are great!

Two quotes for you today:

“We seek pitifully to convey to others the treasures of our heart, but they have not the power to accept them, and so we go lonely, side by side but not together, unable to know our fellows and unknown by them” - William Somerset Maugham

(I think I may have used that quote before - so what I suppose?)

“Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I'm not sure that man needs the help”

How come I never get a Google alert about my page, despite all these Shirley Manson mentions?

Shirley Manson, Shirley Manson , Shirley Manson (just giving the automatic trawling software something to pick up !)

“Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.”

Just a quick one before an early night ( I was up very late last night , and then early today, I've been like a zombie today!).
We went to Newcastle today (all you can eat Chinese buffet in Stowell Street folks) and watched the continuing demolition of Scottish and Newcastle Brewery for a while :

(please click on the image for a larger and much clearer version)

It was quite unreal, like a scene from an apocalyptic movie, and Billie was a little freaked out, especially as she spotted a waste bin someone had left in an office! It just seems like the other day we watched Vaux Brewery being demolished here in Sunderland

Later she wanted to play an LP, on vinyl! It was most amusing watching her try to figure out the sleeve and then the actual mechanics of playing a record. It made me feel so antiquated! By the way it was The Beatles "Blue" Album.

One more day off then the legendary eight day stretch begins - bummer!!!


“Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN!” - Calvin and Hobbes

Copyright - me!

“If I can't dance - I don't want to be part of your revolution” **

Back again ... and so soon. I just recalled being alerted (by my brother Frank - thank you) to this clip which features an 18 year old me dancing (when I say features I actually mean one or two frames of the back of my head or profile - yes folks, I had one back in '83). This clip isn't from youtube but stage6, where although not as much choice, the quality and speed is much better.

(you may have to download a plug-in, I'm to the right of the picture with thick lustrous long hair and a chin)

Back in '83 It was my post new romantic period, goth lite proto emo phase - it didn't last long - but I loved Electro music, those "streetsound" vinyl compilations were fantastic! (ask your adidas/streetdancing wearing parents, kids)


“Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you. Live as though heaven is on earth.” - Anon ( a very prolific author)

** Emma Goldman - early 20th century anarchist, but also quoted in a Sophie Ellis-Bextor song which is very very good

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.”

Welcome to number 275 in a series of ... heaven knows! (Religion eh? should I have spelled heaven with a capital H?)
I'm feeling very "holidayey" today (excuse the made up word please). It's been so very long since I went anywhere. I unfortunately have a run of eight straight days at work before I go, so I shall surely be knackered.
I've been researching KLM, with whom I fly, and as they say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Some reviews say fabulous some say dire, let's wait and see eh? Remember my worries at the cinema? (what crazy kid or chattering old fogey will sit beside me/in front/behind etc...) well that worry is multiplied tenfold on a plane, and since this is the first time I'll ever have flown alone, I won't even have any distractions. Well at least the wonders of online check-in means I stand a good chance of getting a reasonable seat, as long as I get up at 4am the day before that is.

Expect lots of moaning about how tired I am/ how stressful work is , soon - be seeing you!

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana” - Groucho Marx

“A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.”

I'm very tired.
You may recall that about three years ago I became an insomnia sufferer. Regular readers may remember me moaning endlessly about it and fondly recalling the spiritual calm of being wide awake at four in the morning, So what ? you may say, and say it you may, but for the last couple of months it has continued to improve. So much so that unless I'm in bed by midnight (for a 6.15 arising) I'm absolutely paggered the next morning. So what? you may say again, and say it again you may. Well in the bad old days I could sleep for maybe two hours, get up and go to work , and function fairly well. I think my body became accustomed to very little sleep, and now that it is getting a little more it's cruelly punishing me by making me feel like ... well crap , all the time. To sum up , more sleep is making me feel worse! (of course it could also be my shockingly unhealthy lifestyle and middle age?)

The enlightened amongst you are probably wondering why my insomnia is getting better, aren't you? Well I have my own theories, but I suspect part of the solution may lie in British Columbia

“It's always in the middle of the bloody night, or when you're half-awake or tired, when your critical faculties are switched off. So letting go is what the whole game is. You turn on the lights and the cockroaches run away. You can never grasp them.” - John Lennon

“Life is as tedious as a twice-told tale vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man”

Well I got my dollars, not as many as I would like obviously, but here they are. A colleague at work told me that he'd got an excellent exchange rate at a place in town so off I went. It was one of those "cheques cashed" get a loan on your wages type of place. However the rate was better than anywhere else I could find, but I did feel a bit awkward waiting in there, as there is a bit of a stigma associated with those types of establishment, I may not have any money, but I have no debt (apart from my mortgage of course).

This has got to rate as my dullest blog entry ever!

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that ...” - George Carlin

“To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.”

Let me start with a big hello to Barbara - HELLO! (it's big see?see?)

Secondly - that tumbler is parked at IKEA!

I am just home from work unexpectedly early. I was dreading this morning, I knew we were even shorter of staff than usual, we have many patients who need a LOT of care, and I've been a little stressed of late. In the end we got through it and because there was a decent number of late staff (that is staff who start late - at lunchtime , not late as in dead and departed) I managed to snag a few hours holiday! Aren't I lucky. My point being that sometimes no matter how bad something can look on the horizon when you finally reach it it can look a lot smaller and a lot less intimidating than at a distance - please forgive my Crude metaphor.

Well I'd better seize this early finish, grab my ID (that's in the sense of a passport or drivers license, not the Freudian sense!) and go and get some Canadian Dollars!!!
Bye for now!

“There is no problem so big it cannot be run away from.” - Charles Schulz

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”

Apologies to my mystery reader, I thought it was that scoundrel Frank looking in!
Red faced apology, and Hello!

“More men are sorry for speaking, than keeping silence”

“"Begin at the beginning,", the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop”

Just passing by...

I am the master of good intentions. My days off follow roughly the same pattern. Starting with optimism, putting off the useful stuff until later, and ending with regret that the useful stuff was never achieved. Ho hum!

It seems that British actors with "American" accents are the flavour (or should that be flavor?) of the moment.
First we had Hugh Laurie in "House", and now Kevin McKidd in "Journeyman", and Damien Lewis in "Life". All high concept set ups (well kind of, journeyman reminds me of a strange Quantum Leap/ Charmed hybrid - the main character appears to live next door to the Halliwells [a quick "google" confirmed this suspicion]in a strangely flat San Francisco suburb - ie Los Angeles, and is obviously influenced by "The Time Traveler's Wife") {that was a bloody long sentence!}. As yet I've only seen the first episode of Life, I'll get back to you on that one.

I wish it was still like this - people seem a whole lot ruder and stupider these days.

“I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then” - Lewis Carroll

“ When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions! ”

Hello there!
Someone in the Sunderland area, who uses Virgin Media as an ISP, has Windows XP, and a strangely low screen resolution (800x600!! - get tweaking or a decent graphics card!), has been stopping by now and again, the latest visit was 7.28am today. You could at least say hello!

“Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.” - Jane Austen

“I've developed a new philosophy... I only dread one day at a time.”

Well Chilli, (and hello by the way) you were right , it wasn't so bad. Once again the anticipation proved to be infinitely worse than the participation.

I do have to go for some physiotherapy though. My Sickness harks back to an injury I sustained at work about ten years ago, which appears to have left me with sciatica in my right hip and foot. I should have had physio years ago, but I'm such a procrastinator, that it takes something like this to achieve it.

I've bitten the bullet and put the heating on tonight! It's pathetic I know, a grown man having to work out when he can afford to be warm! It was cold, grey and wet today, sort of like my mood!

Hopefully I'm off to get a load of Canadian Dollars tomorrow (by a load I mean not a lot really) Fun! Fun! Fun!

I couldn't resist another Bob Downe Clip!

“I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.” - Charles Schulz

“It always looks darkest just before it gets totally black.”

Were it not for my holiday to Canada soon, surely I would have nothing to talk about. I am so dull, or rather my life is! but hey! enough wallowing!
I was so grateful to get away from work today! Sometimes you can sense a bad shift in the air (and of course all the admissions, complaining relatives and unhappy staff were a bit of a giveaway too). I was more than happy to run out on a sinking ship this evening, ain't I a stinker? Goodbye unlucky colleagues - alas I will soon be that unlucky colleague, what goes around comes around eh?
My sickness interview is tomorrow, and whilst part of me knows it is just a formality, the uptight insecure part of me (ie 90%) is terrified!!!
I went to work with a nagging feeling today, when I got there it came to me! - I'd left the iron on! Oh domestic calamity! Luckily I was allowed to run straight home , I had indeed left it on - See I'm an idiot too!

Hey ! Tomorrow I have been with lastfm for a whole year! Where does the time go eh? When I was young it was all fields around here.............

Publish Post

“The skillful employer of men will employ the wise man, the brave man, the covetous man, and the stupid man.” - Sun Tzu

How come these daily Shirley Manson pictures, never get me a google alert?

“Knowledge without wisdom is a load of books on the back of an ass”

Hello friends! You find me sitting at my Brothers computer, which is in the bedroom I spent most of my childhood in! (I mean the bedroom parts of my childhood, I wasn't locked in or something!). I called in after dropping Billie off at school and found myself trapped - sort of!

Only four weeks tomorrow until my Canada trip! It's over four years since I had any kind of Holiday. However I am trying to not get too excited, I won't be able to relax until I am checked in, and sitting down in my economy seat. Then I can get excited!

I have always enjoyed the travelling part of Holidays. That is the getting to the Airport, looking for gates, the ambience of Airports, buying a book or magazine that #I will probably never read, the tiny food, the worry over who I'll be sitting by (noisy child? chatty old lady?), watching the little plane on the graphics, changing my watch (- WATCH? was that it?). You get the picture!

I've never travelled alone before though (my ex-wife was the most organised creature that ever lived), so I am sure I have / will forget something very important! stay tuned for news on that.

(Depending upon when you read this it may still be un-embellished, as I said before , pictures are back at home on my external drive.) See you all soon?

“The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.” - G.K. Chesterton

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.”

Hey it's a year since I started "writing" this blog. That led to reconnecting with my old friend Claire, she soon vanished, but not before starting my brief flirtation with Myspace. And then I found the wonderful Barbara. Isn't the Internet fantastic?
Such a new and totally unique way of connecting with other human beings, remember the days of penpals!!! However the old blog is still here and although somewhat neglected it will always have a special place in my heart. It used to be that I got in from work, and in lieu of any human contact, I would "complain" at the screen! Now it's like an old relative that you pop into visit now and again, only to be told the same stories you heard the last time you were there! Anyway this ol' blog and the sublime lastfm, remain my favourite places in cyberspace.

I've started watching "Twin Peaks" for the first time since it's broadcast (YES! I did buy the VHS version in the 90's but never got around to watching them again! - what can I say?) and I must say that for once, time has not been cruel. It is still as fresh ,funny and genuinely unsettling as I remember, and has one of the best TV soundtracks ever! and although Sheryl Lee probably looks better now than back in 1990, I'd forgotten how attractive the female cast was, especially Sherilyn Fenn and Lara Flynn Boyle - but enough of my half remembered twenty something lustings.

I'm listening to the Beatles "Love" Album at the moment ( I finally bought it! - £5 for the CD/DVD-A version , a steal!) - That means I now have all the Beatles "original" albums, apart from the Yellow Submarine soundtrack, if you see what I mean. Anyway, apart from being a masterpiece of production, it reminded me of how much I want to see the Cirque de Soleil show in Las Vegas. I've always wanted to visit Las Vegas, I love that disposable trashy side of American er.. "culture" and that show gives me one more reason to visit it's holy city!

Billy has left the building...

“Don't try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night.” - Philip K. Dick