"And turning out the lightI must have yawned and cuddled up for yet another night
And rattling on the roof I must have heard the sound of rain
The day before you came"
Yesterday, when I arrived home from work, I was all fired up for a vitriolic blog post. I was so angry after a rotten couple of days at work, plus two extra scoops of self pity. I went to bed instead. I had several nightmares. I never have trouble getting up, but once up a lethargy (not simply laziness) often hits me, and this malaise will often keep me occupied for hours. I called in to my Mothers house and the angry self loathing spilled over, and I was certainly less than charming. Sometimes I hate myself, the rest I simply dislike me.
I am so very very unhappy.
I really wish I could connect with my Brother more. He has a life of his own, and I only ever really see him in passing. I requested his assistance with a problem in my house today, and it was very pleasant having a bit of company for an hour or two.
My mind still wanders back to Canada, about every two hours or so. It's long over of course, but I really really dread the day when 'she' (is that impolite or rude?) doesn't drift through my thoughts. I know that makes no sense whatsoever, and I said I would not mention it anymore, but there you go, I can't be trusted, apparently.
message ends.
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