“A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.” - W.C. Fields

"The past, past, well now let me tell you about the past
The past is filled with silent joys and broken toys,
laughing girls and teasing boys"

Imagine a gesture that's part sigh, part shrug, a hint of exhalation, a lot of indignation and a little bit country (that last part was what they call a joke, whoever 'they' are). Then picture your beloved author doing it about 6 , 8 maybe 10 times (I'm in an even mood - would that have worked better as odd?).
When it comes to a life / gearbox metaphor I've discovered a third reverse gear (I was already in an undiscovered [to you at least] second reverse gear). My point? None , as usual, I've just had a glass of wine, which inevitably lead to ruminating (or is that what cows do?) and reflection. This inevitably led me to the conclusion that life is a big pile of poo (that's definitely what cows do).

I apologise in advance for this pity fest (tickets still available for next year). Hang on how can I be apologising in advance? I haven't even finished typing this yet! (cue some Bill and Ted / Back to the Future comedy paradoxes)

"Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN!" - Calvin and Hobbes