"The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes" - Winston Churchill

"I’ve had a drink or two and I don’t care,
There’s no fun in what I do if she’s not there"

When I woke up this morning, it felt like something was different. I felt so low, emotionally, really quite despondent, it's somewhat better now, but the feeling of hopelessness I woke up with, is hard to shake off completely. When I got to work, I was so down in the dumps that I snapped, quite rudely, at a group of colleagues, who were only making gentle fun of me, I've never done that before, it did not feel good.

Minor irritations - I woke up to the sound of dripping again. The leak is still not fixed, the roofing fella will hopefully take a look tomorrow, while I'm at work. - My Christmas shifts are done, and they have kindly given me an early shift on Christmas Day, followed by a night shift on Boxing Day, and then a 13 day shift, and that's all in the same week. I was not happy, and I made my feelings known, which again is something I don't usually do. final niggle today - I today discovered that the problem I'm having with my left arm has left me unable to reach behind and fasten an apron. Obviously in my job that's a major handicap, blimey! I am so decrepit!!

Much much more importantly, it occurred to me on the way home tonight that it is exactly one year ago today since I left to visit Barbara. That first night there has to rank as one of my two favourite memories (honestly) and the other is Billie's birth. The way I subsequently treated Barbara has to rank as the biggest mistake and regret of my life (and probably several others), er, bar none!

I am such a fool.

Happy trails...

"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot." - Groucho Marx