"You can't have everything...Where would you put it?"

Happy Birthday to me!

Walking home from work this morning, I really should have felt miserable. After all I'm alone and over the hill, it's my birthday, and I'm a misery. However the sun was shining, I've got a day off and the ipod's randomness was giving me some happy songs! I felt really, almost... er...quite content!

Come back later, It'll be gone no doubt. I'm off to buy myself a birthday present! No cards or presents for me unless I supply them myself!

"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory" - Steven Wright

Gratuitous Shirley Manson Photo :

Headlights on the parade

It's nearly 3am, we are very busy, I'm having my meal break and I'm listening to The Blue Nile on my ipod. The first three I could just about manage but when the Blue Nile came up on shuffle, I nearly lost it. I don't know if you are familiar with their music ( you should be!) but there is such an earnest forlorn yearning in most of their songs, and Paul Buchanan's voice is so sad, and frankly heart wrenching. I used to especially enjoy their music on a dark and wet night, on my old walkman - sometimes it feels so good to feel so sad. - Anyway It now feels like I'm the only person awake in the world, locked away in the sisters office, the only illumination the x-ray box!
Alone and forlorn ain't I a cheery little blighter!

(this picture is really inappropriate, but I don't have access to my picture collection at work, and I had this spare on photobucket)

"Ok buddy, uh, I was just tryin' to cheer us up, so go ahead. Put on some old sad bastard music, see if I care." - Barry (Jack Black) in "high fidelity"

"Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now"

"Wonderful girl. Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her..."

Catch you later

"Today I...........No, that wasn't me."

Vite ! - another set of days off gone, and all those things I keep meaning to do (housework, decorating, putting up curtains! and paint a picture for above the fireplace - seriously I've been awaiting inspiration for a year! - etc.) remain undone.
As intimated in my earlier post, procrastinate now! (that's actually quite a clever joke by my standards). Did a bit of shopping before picking up Billie and yes I bought two more DVDs! I need help! (but they were bargains Doctor!)


We then went to the Dentist. Our old Dentist has just retired (we are luckily part of a NHS practice) and Billie was really worried about the New Guy whose bought the practice. Whereas the retirer was definitely "Old School" gruff and practical, the new Fella was all "modern" polite and friendly - much to her relief. Luckily she is not frightened of Dentists, just change!
I'm off to open that wine now and watch a depressing film!

“Dentists are incapable of asking questions that require a simple yes or no answer”

"What's another word for thesaurus?"

I can't be bothered to finish that last post - gentle reader, for I am a procrastinator (I'd write a self help book about it but.....)

Boy! I'm so antsy! I've been deaf in my left ear for around a week (nothing serious - just a lot of wax) and it's really getting on my nerves. It's not only a loss of hearing, and stabbing pain, but a kind of er...well 'pressure' in me head (I know I'm pathetic). I've had tinnitus in my left ear for years now, and since wax is a known cause, it's even worse than usual - and when combined with my insomnia (obviously worse with a thick head and cathedral bells), and usual sunny demeanour, it all means Billy is not a happy boy.

As Feargal Sharkey so brilliantly said "I need excitement, oh I need it bad". (can you see a theme developing?).

In other news - It's payday (hurrah), which is good as I've broken one of my own commandments again and bought a load of DVDs (2nd hand, dear reader) I'm addicted, If I like a film I like to get the DVD (eventually) same goes for some TV shows , as I can't imagine ever watching Lost or House MD more than once, but Father Ted, The Likely Lads, Black Books, Buffy, Angel, Seinfeld, and so on, get repeated viewing - I'm rambling aren't I?

Happy 40th Birthday to my avid reader Chili ! ( I was tempted, but I won't depress you with the non-story of my very own 40th - yet! )

Thursday is my wine night (only when I'm off on Friday mind you) so expect some vaguely misanthropic, and wistful ranting later!

"I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me -- and I didn't hear it" - Steven Wright (and title)

"I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering"

...back later

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"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time" - Steven Wright

"So, do you live around here often?"

One of my myspace friends (grammar?) - hello Chilli! - posted a blog entry about speed dating.

This got me a thinking! Blimey it's nearly three years since I had any kind of relationship, and as I've often said , I'm bloody lonely. I didn't really know what speed dating was about, but after 30 seconds research, maybe it wouldn't be that bad?

Who am I kidding?

Firstly you cannot go speed dating alone, however much of an oxymoron that sounds. Women would not want to date anyone with no friends, would they? after all serial and spree killers are always described as "loners" (rather than lonely - nit pickers) and since I really am the original "Billy no mates" that puts me already behind all the other runners. Secondly, my social skills are rusty beyond the realms of any metaphorical WD40. You apparently get 3 minutes to make an impression, and I would probably either lapse into Hugh Grant style "ummmmery", or come out with some inappropriate (though probably quite funny)sarcastic comment.

Finally I haven't got a thing to wear (that was a joke by the way).

But I must do something, and soon, what do you think imaginary friend?

“People are far more sincere and good-humored at speeding their parting guests than on meeting them” - Chekov (the playwright not the bogus Star Trek Russian geezer)

“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”

ZZZ zzz zzz zzz zzz zzz ...

“If I am dreaming let me never awake, If I am awake let me never sleep.” - chinese proverb

"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it"

Good evening.

I meant to post something this morning, but I was actually so tired I fell asleep in my chair, and crawled up to bed around 11am. I was all fired up and emotional this morning too, it would have made an interesting post. Now I'm simply exhausted.

I do remember, I was feeling very lonely, unloved and lovelorn. Something about walking home in the rain on a Sunday morning, the streets empty, and a very sad Al Green song playing on my iPod. (ah, that last sentence has recaptured something of the mood for me )

Boy I am so lonely! (oh shut up) - Sorry, less self pity next time, I'm off for a shower and then to work! (not even a bogus friend request on myspace today either - nada, zilch!)

"When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone." - Tennessee Williams

"Somebody turn on the light, Were gonna have a party, Its starting tonight!"

My bedroom is in a roof dormer, so I essentially have a flat roof over me. Today (the third episode I think) I was rudely awakened by what sounded like tap dancing above me, then footsteps running from corner to corner? An early visit from Santa? anyway pretty freaky in a semiconscious state!! The first time this happened I was obviously quite surprised, now it is just an annoyance, it's always between 5 and 8am. (My guess is it's seagulls, I only live about a mile from the sea - pesky devils!!!)

"Oh would you just shut up? You're rats with wings." - from finding Nemo

(by the way that dreadful title is obviously from "dancing on the ceiling", awful, but apt)

"A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good"

Hurrah! After many pointless hours, I have managed to return my myspace profile into a reasonable facsimile of it's former self. Behind the facade it is held together with the html equivalent of band-aids, as the original was a lucky convergence of random coincidences (is that even a sentence?) Anyone who loves "The Shop around the Corner" put your hand up !

"Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film" - Steven Wright

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried"

Quite a busy night, seemed to last forever though.


I've just looked in the mirror and I'm looking exceedingly haggard (see picture below :10am, no sleep in 24 hours - pasty pink blob avec beard blanc). - I deleted it it was too gruesome!

I even briefly contemplated dying my beard, since it recently started going quite white. Is this a good idea though? or would I end up looking look like an evil hypnotist, or the Master from Dr. Who (rumoured to be making a comeback played by our very own Sam Tyler - John Simm!)


"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up" - Steven Wright

"I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, 'Got any shoes you're not using?' "

What a waste of a day! I'm at work tonight (oh dear), so I usually try to get a couple of hours sleep (despite what Chilli thinks , you can have preparatory sleep!). As usual my first action upon rising this morning was to check myspace.


Strangely my profile was totally messed up. So I've spent the best part of the day getting it back to an approximation of what it was. I still can't shift those ugly details and blog boxes despite trying numerous HTML codes and work arounds, so instead I stuck an enormous apology there to remind visitors of it's former glory (I was really happy with it reader!)

Oh - that means I didn't get any sleep - how pathetic eh?

“To find a form that accommodates the mess, that is the task of the artist now.” - Samuel Beckett

“I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum.”

It's been a dull day looking for shoes. My "kung fu" stylee work shoes have finally given up after two years! but due to my rather limited budget, and sheer laziness, I didn't get any! So it's back to the Robinson Crusoe look tomorrow (although I have shaved of that full beard - it was almost completely white - I am so old!
As pure unabashed filler here's those Quentin Crisp Quotes I was talking about last week!!! (pure filler!!!)

Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style (my Favourite!!!)

Men get laid, but women get screwed

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable

Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne

I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster

Never get involved with someone who wants to change you

The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy

The curiosity of the neighbors about you, is a tribute to your individuality, and you should encourage it

Never keep up with Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It's cheaper

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse - my personal credo!

For flavour, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook - I vaguely recall

"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met"

Windwhisperer ! as the title of a previous post went

"don't cry because it's over, Smile because it happened" - Dr Seuss

Yes I was hung up on a particular redhead (and I think redheads will always create a Pavlovian response in my synapses because of her) but as Tennyson said ... "better to have loved and lost...etc." ( he didn't say the etc bit) and I'll have some wonderful memories of her for as long as I've got my mind!

“No one changes the world who isn't obsessed.” - Billie Jean King

"No one ever dies there, No one has a head"

Don't be too flattered by the personal post windwhisperer! I really have nothing better to do! (well I could be doing some housework I suppose). Your music recommendation is excellent - Planet Claire was one of the first 12" Singles I ever bought (oh I used to love a good dance mix). Closer to home, Claire was also the name (and still is as far as I know) of my long unrequited love. I still cannot listen to Garbage (as she looked like a 5'1" version of Shirley Manson - probably still does) without thinking of her (and The Beatles, The Doors, ABBA, Meatloaf, Elvis, Beach Boys, Dusty... OK just imagine a really long list here, you get the joke).

“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.” - Charlie Brown

in the next thrilling issue...

(in reply to windwhisperer's comment below)

I always thought entropy was the breakdown of physical laws, but a quick google shows you are right - yes I am disorganised!!!


However I refute your claim I'm stuck in the 80's. If you click the link to lastfm.com you'll see I'm firmly routed in the 1960's! I do like some current music, especially Client , Ladytron, Depeche Mode (they are still current!), Garbage of course! and Belle and Sebastian. I find a lot of the British Guitar groups around at the minute are a mash-up of 60's garage, and late 70's/early 80's new-wave (especially Wire and Gang of Four) but entertaining non the less. And speaking of mash-ups, I love 'em.

Thank you for your attention!


“The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one is.” - Arnold Bennett

“Hermits have no peer pressure.”

Now living in a terraced house I can't listen to loud music like I used to (or rock the house with some serious sub-woofer action, like the start of saving Private Ryan, or the lobby scene in The Matrix). Headphones, whilst OK, just don't have the same visceral pleasure - dance music needs to be felt as well as heard.
That means my last refuge for aural pleasure (ooh er) is the car! (Shame I walk to work then). I love listening to loud music in my little car (which rather embarrassingly I call "Shirley") and in a reversal of usual roles, my daughter , Billie, is always telling me to turn down the volume .
Getting all dewy eyed for a second, I used to adore nightclubs. Feeling the bass in the chest (rather akin to 70's cinema sensurround - which like everything in that decade was rather over the top, and every explosion hurt!). My heyday (mid 80's) was the time of high NRG. Oh those Bobby Orlando 12" singles that went on for ever - Wallows in nostalgia for a moment.

Right I'm off to listen to some German industrial techno music in a lay by - "honest officer that's all I was doing!"

In even more trivial news - what's happened to Beef Discos (for non UK readers, that's a crisp/chip, as opposed to a Gay Club) they used to be bloody delicious! non they've gone low fat they taste all "vinegary" - give me back my fat and taste, crisp making dudes!

“Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.” - Steven Wright

“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.”

Yes I am a fool - ok, ha-ha!

Now what did I say? Buy less DVDs!!! so what did I do at 2am today - stoopid question.

I finally gave up waiting and ordered the "Dread Pirate" edition of the Princess Bride (and I did have a little prompt) - The UK edition has the film and nothing else, the US is a 2 discer with oodles o' stuff (also comes in buttercup edition for the ladies) of course this means the UK will probably get a 3 disc super deluxe version in a fortnight), and as the postage was no more for two I went for the super dee duper US edition of Heathers too - in for a penny and all that! (hey it was only a tenner for the two)

Myspace - how come "cool new people" hang around for bloody weeks on your homepage? When I signed up, I didn't get cool new people status, but some of these losers (!) have been hanging around an age, move over give us desperate folks a go. (when you go into "view all my friends" what damn order does it put your friends in? It surely isn't order of signing up, or anything to do with order of "friendness", it takes an age to find who ya' want - I'm such a grumpy old sod!)

Did I mention this before? The bogus young "women" who want to be my friend on a daily basis? They always seem around 22 and have a profile picture in short shorts or lingerie (poor things can't afford proper clothes) furthermore they always have the same damn profile! (don't want kids - don't worry , I don't think a spambot is capable of reproduction) What kind of fool believes this stuff? - Men that's who , damn fools "thanks for the add babe - speak soon"

“The function of muscle is to pull and not to push, except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.” - Leonardo da Vinci (ooh er Leo!!!)

“Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.”

We had a nice day, the Sun shone we laughed and just did normal stuff. We came home Billie looked at Piczo, I looked at Myspace. Another day over. We took some photo's and of course I looked disgusting! where is the fresh faced boy we all used to love?

PS - note to self - Buy less DVDs - food and cleaning materials would also be good!

“The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.” - James Taylor

should we have a few more James Taylor quotes ?

“Time will take your money, but money won't buy time.”

“People can be so cold, they will hurt you, and desert you, they will take your soul if you let them, so don't you let them”

“I've seen fire and I've seen rain, I've seen sunny days I thought would never end, I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought I'd see you again”

“Time will take your money, but money won't buy time.”

Elvis has left the building.

"Strung out in heaven's high, hitting an all-time low"

Must get out of rut (Actually more trench than a rut)

Hey a new reader! Welcome !

I really have nothing much to say today, but I like to try and post daily, so my mind doesn't lock up.

Actually let me share a few thoughts with you about the Life on Mars Finale :

There are several interpretations it seems. My own favourite theory is that Sam never woke up at all, hence his lack of pain when he cut his finger. That would mean his leap from the roof was a way of jarring his mind back to 1973, much as in the first season he threatened to jump from the same roof, to get his mind back to 2006. Maybe he briefy woke up in 2007, and slipped back into the coma, as the sequence where he was suddenly dressed and leaving "Hyde" ward was a little dream like. Some have said that he really did jump and die, and that the remaining four minutes of the show was the four minutes in which Brain death occurs - hence the radio message, and test card girl turning of the TV (life support?) - anyway this debate is the sign of good TV, the last episode of The Prisoner still provokes such debate 40 years on.

Upon reflection though, Sam must have really got back to 2007, just so he could leave his tapes as a set up for the spin-off show next year. Whilst the thought of Gene in 1981 and Ray with a perm (so I read) sounds hilarious, the transparent and clumsy way of justifying it ( Sassy Female DCI reads Sam's transcripts, ends up in a coma AS WELL! and gets stuck in 1981) I'm sure that once we forget this crazy set up the show will be a joy. (apparently the new shows "iconic" car will be that boy racers dream - the Audi Quattro, I seem to remember the 80's version looked like a cereal box with alloy wheels - oh look I found a picture)

and please read this marvellous article about Gene Hunt (the real star of the show) :

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/portal/main.jhtml?xml=/portal/2007/04/13/nosplit/ftphil13.xml

"Take a look at the lawman Beating up the wrong guy.

Oh man! Wonder if he'll ever know

He's in the best selling show

Is there life on Mars?" - David Bowie

One final thought - isn't Liz White absolutely lovely?

"I am not a number, I am a free man"

Look fans - I put a hit counter here the other day, and it seems that I actually have some readers. Amazing - I might have to change the title to audience of two! ( although it must always stay "why don't we do it in the road" as it makes me smile!!!)

“Count your joys instead of your woes; Count your friends instead of your foes.” - Irish saying

"this ain't no Disco!"

Chilli - you are so right. (don't think I've ever responded to a comment before!)

In the eighties (and I'm sure the 70's and 60's too) image of youth was so important, not only as identifier to other clan members, but as a two fingered salute to parents, and authority symbols - the poacher becomes gamekeeper - We are those parents now!

I spent countless hours around the '85-'87 period just getting my enormous quiff hairsprayed just so, and I had the most perfectly shaped Captain Kirk pointed sideburns. Clothes weren't something you just put on , they were carefully selected and chosen. (I had a beautiful vintage red Hawaiian shirt covered in pineapples <remember Flip? - branches in Newcastle, Sunderland , and Middlesborough>, that looked most excellent with a black suit, and Chelsea boots and oh those Chelsea boots I got in Newcastle on my 21st birthday, so pointy, so very pointy) - Well before I explode in a cloud of nostalgic dust, I'll continue. Before the teenager was "invented" in the mid fifties, you would simply go from school uniform into a pipe and cardigan combo at 16, ie dress just like your parents. Sadly the same thing is happening today, albeit with slightly trendier (but essentially dull and conformist) parents. Dad these days probably has at least one tribal tattoo, and goes out on a friday with a £100 short sleeve shirt to show the ladies, whilst Mum has probably a lovely tattoo too (wasn't that a stones album?) but has shed the twinset for whatever trendy Mums deem er.... trendy.


My point is that outside of chav (seemingly unisex) sportswear (ugh) youth is pretty bland and undistinguished - there will always be conclaves of die hard mods, goths, punks etc (and forget Emo - goth for wussies!) We need the 21st equivalent of punk to outrage us and divide us from our kids - it's for their own good!



- Of course this is all narrated from inside a mid life crisis, by a man who still owns five pairs of Converse, and has at least one Thundercats T-shirt.

Kettles and pots of a dark hue spring to mind!

“See, what you're meant to do when you have a mid-life crisis is buy a fast car, aren't you? Well, I've always had fast cars. It's not that. It's the fear that you're past your best. It's the fear that the stuff you've done in the past is your best work.” - Robbie Coltrane

"I just wasn't made for these times"

Fun fun 13 hour shift today!

Hello gentle reader!

Today I was thinking about youth culture. Amazing as it may be to you I was young once, and I was quite the chameleon, but more of that later!

It's a great time to be young today (how old is young? I'm tempted to say under 35, but I can think of a couple of people who'll instantly disagree!!) the 21st century (hang on where's me jet pack and silver jumpsuit?) is summed up by eclecticism. The young person today can draw upon any youth movement of the past, be it Mod, Rocker, Punk, Metalist, or "mocker" (one for the Beatles fans amongst us) whilst this is admirable it raises the obvious issue that 2007 has no identity of it's own. Photo's of today shown to our grandchildren, will only be identifiable by the huge mobile phones we own (obviously not me - the Luddite) they'll probably have subcutaneous phones producing vivid holographic images of the caller. They draw on the past, but don't add to it - and don't mention Emo! that's just goth-lite, for those too chicken to go the whole hog!

I dabbled with being a goth way back in the days when it was new. I admit it I used to wear make up, a lot! But of course in those days I was a snake hipped youth, whose enviable dancing skills were seen on TV weekly (that is actually true!)I was a shapeless 16 year old who only found himself when Sixth form beckoned. I went from New wave suit wearer to Mod, to serious New Romantic, to a flat topped sub Morrissey, to a bequiffed suit wearer in the late 80's. Heaven knows , how I would describe my personal style these days, I so rarely get a chance to express it - dream on, Sweet baby James (did I tell you my first name is James? middle name William ?)

“Youth is when you blame all your troubles on your parents; maturity is when you learn that everything is the fault of the younger generation”

"I have killed two people since midnight. I haven't slept in over 24 hours. So maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are now. "

I love 24. It's completetly ludicrous of course, and Jack Bauer is obviously mentally ill. But it's also completely entertaining, and as the cliche goes, edge of your seat stuff.



"Part of getting a second chance is taking responsibility for the mess you made in the first place." - Jack Bauer

"An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be."

That was a bloody stupid thing to do ! tipsy ramblings of a madman, edited rather than deleted. I just watched an episode of House MD (season three episode 17) that was all about pregnancy, and let me say I shed a few tears, it even affected old Greg too (as in House not the Merman). When that little baby grabbed his finger there wasn't a dry eye in my house (oh hang, on I live alone)
I wasn't attacking pregnancy and pregnant women per se, just the smugness that sometimes ensues. Nevertheless no more tipsy posts - tiredness, loneliness and red wine do not happy bed fellows make - sorry.

"True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive." - The Neurotics Notebook

“I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.” - Mitch Hedburg (fabulous American stand up who died before he made it really big)

"When I'm finished with you, you're gonna wish that you felt this good again."

(disclaimer - the following prejudice was amplified by californian red)

"Buckle up - it's going to be rough, and it won't be over any time soon"

Rant 1 -
I ventured into my local city centre today (Saturday) - a mistake, and I should really know better.

Being a shift worker, I usually have days off during the week. This usually suits me just fine - I can avoid the masses, and get weekend enhancements (money!) . Saturdays in city centres are obviously crowded, and being the misanthrope I clearly am becoming, crowds are an anathema to me. Especially this Saturday as it was a Match Day!

I live in the typical northern city where football is the altar to which most worship. Football to me is the urban replacement for tribal behaviour (which I admit is innate in all of us), instead of pillaging our neighbours stronghold, the modern man (and of course increasingly women - who perhaps should know better) will transfer these energies to the "beautiful game".

Getting back to my point, however, this meant the city centre was even more crowded than usual - O' Saturday, friend of the chav, arty farty bar, and poundshop.
I waded throw throngs of striped "individuals" wishing I was somewhere else.

(hang on ! apart from insulting thousands of decent people, what was your point? )

Maybe I spend too much time on my own? (there's no maybe about it matey!) and I'm becoming an isolationist (again - too late!)

(I must post sometime about my loathing for regionalism and nationalism, it's naive I know but why can't we get along? Newcastle must hate Sunderland, but when there's something afoot in London we can hate them together as Northerners? And together as England we can hate the Scots? and historically as Britain we can hate (and conquer!!) the world?)

“Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation; and this means we must develop a world perspective.” - Martin Luther King Jr

Rant 2 -
Pregnant women smugly rubbing their stomachs, with an expression that expresses beatific superiority and achievement. Essentially all they have achieved is to transfer a miniscule piece of genetic material a few inches, by a method perfected millions of years ago by dumb creatures (some of which are still trying to perfect it). I admit that objectively the whole process is biologically impressive, but it is not exactly difficult to perform. Children are wonderful, but for some girls, and young women a child is often their sole life target, something they've planned since puberty, professional mothers, you may say.

We are genetically programmed to protect and love our offspring, but akin to the emperors new clothes - someone has to say it, , babies are not beautiful. They usually resemble Mr Potato Head, Winston Churchill, Jean Luc Picard, Phil Mitchell, Roy Kinnear, Eric Cartman or a hybrid of them all. I love my own daughter of course, but she was just as small and wrinkly as anyone elses progeny.

Oh and when someone on maternity leave brings a child into work, I'll actively avoid the billing and cooing session that inevitably breaks out! Ain't I a stinker!

“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck” - George Carlin

and finally... Rant 3 -
Stretched shiny women in their week old four by fours or convertibles usually bejewelled, permatanned, or highly made up and coiffeured, often with a hairstyle ten years too young for them. Almost always they have only a tenous relationship with the highway code, for like taxi drivers, BMW and sportscar drivers the laws of the road were not written for them, seeing rules as more of a suggestion, than an enforcement!

“The more laws, the less justice.” - Cicero

Further disclaimer (24 hours later) - Sorry I'm not usually so hateful, just put it down to the insomnia/nightshift combo, laced with the red stuff

"Superman wears Jack Bauer pyjamas"

“I am falser than vows made in wine”

I drank a full bottle of wine on an empty stomach last night = very drunk. I woke up in front of the computer, at around 3am, and crawled to bed, nothing too unusual there either (maybe once a month - non believers!). Lo - today I find a long draft post which I must have typed last night! quite a rant which I will post once I've edited it, oh I'm very erudite when drunk, but it's too long for a blog post, seems yesterday I was annoyed at football tribalism, pregnant women, and shiny ladies in convertibles! - and there's a bit that was instantly deleted and must never be published!

“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.” - Calvin and Hobbes

(I just started rereading my Calvin and Hobbes books after a very long time - they are frakking hilarious, and so insightful)

“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.” - Dr Seuss

myspace and the Kevin bacon game

I'm sure, gentle reader, that being the net savvy individual you are, that you are aware of The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. The idea being to connect Kevin Bacon (or actually any actor now) to another actor in as few steps as possible (giving you the "bacon number" which correlates with the number of steps.) Why am I mentioning this well established bit of trivia you may ask? and well you may! Well since myspace has become my latest time thief (gee thanks Claire!) I see the same people cropping up in various friends lists time and time again! See where I'm going, yes the Billy number is the number of steps to connect myself to another myspace user (who obviously isn't one of my friends). Obviously the whole thing is a bit biased as I'm looking at people who probably share one or more of my interests, mainly 60's beat music and cult film / tv, so familiar faces are bound to crop up.

(there is a whole Mod Army on myspace just waiting for an unscrupulous leader - if Paul Weller wanted to take over the country, all it would take would be one myspace bulletin and a fishtailed invasion of Downing Street would be inevitable!)

If I weren't so crippled by apathy I might post this as a bulletin.

“A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.” - Jim Morrison

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr Seuss

"tired of being alone"

I sat down to post a new entry, but I'm so tired after nightshift it'll have to wait 'til tonight!



“When we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago” - Nietzsche

Good grief Charlie Brown!

très rapidement : I had a lovely post on myspace yesterday. I did not realise I was so transparent in my fondness of petite redheads (chuckle). The post was accompanied by a delightful picture of a Blythe doll with a most excellent Red (and Black) bob (the sad thing is I've had a copy of this picture on my hard drive for years! That combination of petiteness, round face, big eyes, eyeliner and red hair makes this doll worryingly attractive!! How weird am I ? (actually all Blythe dolls are at least cute). The obvious thing would be to post the picture here, too obvious .

I appreciated the allusion to Me and Charlie Brown (and his love for the cute little redheaded girl -who I believe was never seen in print or on TV) - I always loved Charlie Browns Neurotic optimism. I suppose I was obsessed!

“Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead.” - Lucille Ball

Ball of Confusion

Well that wasn't too bad. Like most things (except maybe death - but I've no one to corroborate this) perception is often worse than the actual participation. There was a lot of patient "leakage" last night , but only a few admissions, and no fatalities, and I even had time to check myspace (on my break I'll have you know).
There is a weird thing that happens to some patients when the lights go out, previously sane and normal folk become confused lunatics!(sometimes with mild violence as a bonus) but come dawn and everything returns to normal! some sort of mental lycanthropy, but without the fur (but sometimes with the teeth!!)
The strange time dilation of night work has kicked in - it still feels like it's Monday to me (where did Monday go?) and tomorrow morning I won't know where the hell I am!


“Confusion heard his voice, and wild uproar Stood ruled, stood vast infinitude confined; Till at his second bidding darkness fled, Light shone, and order from disorder sprung.” - John Milton

"Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K!"

I don't have much to say.

Did I ever tell you how much I hate night shift? of course I did - you fool!
A whole month starting tonight, and as predicted, I was unable to get any preparatory sleep, so come tomorrow morning, I should be floating home! Night shift seems to be a time thief. You are either sleeping (or trying!) , working, or getting ready to work - ho hum!

“Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night.” - William Blake