(disclaimer - the following prejudice was amplified by californian red)
"Buckle up - it's going to be rough, and it won't be over any time soon"
Rant 1 -
I ventured into my local city centre today (Saturday) - a mistake, and I should really know better.
Being a shift worker, I usually have days off during the week. This usually suits me just fine - I can avoid the masses, and get weekend enhancements (money!) . Saturdays in city centres are obviously crowded, and being the misanthrope I clearly am becoming, crowds are an anathema to me. Especially this Saturday as it was a Match Day!
I live in the typical northern city where football is the altar to which most worship. Football to me is the urban replacement for tribal behaviour (which I admit is innate in all of us), instead of pillaging our neighbours stronghold, the modern man (and of course increasingly women - who perhaps should know better) will transfer these energies to the "beautiful game".
Getting back to my point, however, this meant the city centre was even more crowded than usual - O' Saturday, friend of the chav, arty farty bar, and poundshop.
I waded throw throngs of striped "individuals" wishing I was somewhere else.
(hang on ! apart from insulting thousands of decent people, what was your point? )
Maybe I spend too much time on my own? (there's no maybe about it matey!) and I'm becoming an isolationist (again - too late!)
(I must post sometime about my loathing for regionalism and nationalism, it's naive I know but why can't we get along? Newcastle must hate Sunderland, but when there's something afoot in London we can hate them together as Northerners? And together as England we can hate the Scots? and historically as Britain we can hate (and conquer!!) the world?)
“Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation; and this means we must develop a world perspective.” - Martin Luther King Jr
Rant 2 -
Pregnant women smugly rubbing their stomachs, with an expression that expresses beatific superiority and achievement. Essentially all they have achieved is to transfer a miniscule piece of genetic material a few inches, by a method perfected millions of years ago by dumb creatures (some of which are still trying to perfect it). I admit that objectively the whole process is biologically impressive, but it is not exactly difficult to perform. Children are wonderful, but for some girls, and young women a child is often their sole life target, something they've planned since puberty, professional mothers, you may say.
We are genetically programmed to protect and love our offspring, but akin to the emperors new clothes - someone has to say it, , babies are not beautiful. They usually resemble Mr Potato Head, Winston Churchill, Jean Luc Picard, Phil Mitchell, Roy Kinnear, Eric Cartman or a hybrid of them all. I love my own daughter of course, but she was just as small and wrinkly as anyone elses progeny.
Oh and when someone on maternity leave brings a child into work, I'll actively avoid the billing and cooing session that inevitably breaks out! Ain't I a stinker!
“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck” - George Carlin
and finally... Rant 3 -
Stretched shiny women in their week old four by fours or convertibles usually bejewelled, permatanned, or highly made up and coiffeured, often with a hairstyle ten years too young for them. Almost always they have only a tenous relationship with the highway code, for like taxi drivers, BMW and sportscar drivers the laws of the road were not written for them, seeing rules as more of a suggestion, than an enforcement!
“The more laws, the less justice.” - Cicero
Further disclaimer (24 hours later) - Sorry I'm not usually so hateful, just put it down to the insomnia/nightshift combo, laced with the red stuff
"Superman wears Jack Bauer pyjamas"
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