Back, and to the left... back, and to the left... back, and to the left.

"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark"

Work continues to worsen. Apart from an imminent "change list" which everyone is dreading, sickness is getting worse, stress is up and beds only stay empty for the blink of an eye. It's like the last days of the Roman empire, there are signs of a former glory and imperial splendour, but everything is decaying, and there are Barbarians at the gate.

Also tonight I am really angry with my ex-wife (saying that makes me feel like some ex-cop in a gritty crime drama!) I just do not get enough access to my daughter. My ex-wife is like a phantom to me (and I don't mean like the first Mrs. de Winter) , she does not talk to me, I only see glimpses of her, moving behind frosted glass, or half seen through venetian blinds (as I'm not allowed into her home, I have to wait in the street) and I think she keeps this distance partially to limit my opportunities to ask for more, time that is. Or maybe I'm just paranoid.

Speaking of which, I really miss chatting to my friend Claire, and now it seems that our past messages on LastFM have vanished! Logic says this is probably automatic, paranoia tells me she is trying to eradicate me, (in which case must have done something really wrong!) actually re-reading that last paragraph makes me look like some paranoid conspiracy freak! (maybe I am but no one dares tell me! lol).

I'm rambling aren't I? I really have nothing to say tonight, it's just that when I was a teenager I'd write my diary usually sometime between 11pm and midnight and it still feels kind of cosy, so I do most of posting then , (or after any red wine consumption).

Todays program was brought to you by the words, worried, bitter and paranoid. It was a production of the Childrens Television Workshop.

BTW - Claire if you happen by, Do you still want this She-Ra T-shirt ? (lol)

Oh - nearly forgot a pithy quote -

“Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you”
Kurt Cobain

p.s. I hope you get the "hilarious" link between the title, photo, and the theme of this post. Otherwise it just makes me look even more of an oddball!